What are your church's views on same-sex relationships?

I received an email from someone who attended one of the weddings I officiated this past weekend. This person asked, "What are your church's views on same-sex relationships?" Here is my response. Comments?
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Dear ________, I'm glad you asked. We believe God loves and values all people. Isn't that awesome? :) It's too bad that he gets such a bad rap in our culture sometimes. He made and created each person to be loved by him and to know him.
The Bible says that all people have been made in his image and with a purpose to be loved by him and to love and serve him (through which like I said
yesterday he reveals this all through the Bible-which by the way is such a great book. What's your history with it?). So based on these truths we then also view relationships by God's design revealed through the Bible. So, to answer your question about same-sex relationships we believe that people are most satisfied and fulfilled in relationships by following God's design which he created between one man and one woman. But we welcome gay people to be a part of our church family. Our church welcomes all people to belong with us as we seek God together. God desires that all people understand his invitation is unconditional to be loved by him and be a part of his family. We love all people in same-sexed relationships. Something that's important to this discussion is that we don't expect anyone to share these same relational beliefs if they don't have a commitment to follow the ways of Jesus, nor do we condemn anyone who doesn't. We are more concerned 1st that people understand God's personal love for them and his desire to restore the world with hope and peace! It's not our desire to bash, harm, or make anyone feel less than. I assume that when you are asking this question it's a personal matter for you or someone you love. This is a personal issue for me in general as my wife and I have close family members and friends in same-sex relationships. We desire to love and accept. I don't know your background with God or his people (the church) but I hope in some way you'll simply hear through these words that God is a loving God, you are loved, and all of humanity is loved by our creator God, and that he has a special design for each person to be loved by him. Email isn't the best venue to discuss these issues, for sure, since it's very easy for misunderstandings. But I would be MORE :) than happy to meet and talk with you or anyone else that is questioning these views. What do you think?

In grace and peace,
Tony

Same suit different tie

2 weddings in 24 hours. One on Saturday and one exactly 20 hours later on Sunday. Now, I now only own one functional suit (that's not a costume). So my one cool suit got some good use this weekend. I just changed my shirt and tie.
Here we are (me and Prego Wife Wendy-isn't she cute? Her bump kinda blends in the black) with our Friends (and owners of fave cafe La Tartine) Huy (Andrew) and Monique, who wed in Palo Alto at the Garden Court Hotel.
They gave away biscotti, a fancy tea bag and cool espresso cups.
It was so funny, because they both already had the same last name. No, they weren't related, but Nguyen (new-winn) is the Vietnamese equivalent of Smith. Convenient for the Bride when it comes to name change.

Angelo and Christina got married in PCC's worship Center. They are becoming a blended family. It was very emotional to witness and a great crowd of their neighbors, friends, family, and co-workers showed up that got to hear about God's love and design for marriage. This was a special ceremony because Christina came to Christ about a year ago and has been changed in some great ways.

Of course I got my groove on.

I love doing weddings. I love being able to bless a couple and speak the truth of God unashamedly!

"Doing" weddings

I got to do three wedding ceremonies this summer. Two for great friends in our community and just last week, for my own brother. I really like "doing" weddings. Partly because it's exciting to stand before two people making such a huge commitment as the one representing God in sealing the promise. Another reason is I like to have fun (and make weddings fun-Have you ever been to a boring wedding? Ug! Comment now!) and remind people of God's design and how amazing marriage can be--especially for the guests. I think some of the brides and the grooms are so busy, excited, stressed, nervous, scattered, distracted, and hungry that they barely remember what the officiant says until they watch the video after the honeymoon. That's just how it goes sometimes for some. But the guests who come, although maybe hungry, aren't so distracted and a little more open to "heart." I always assume the following in regards to the guests: 1-Some are married and enjoying it, working hard and making it work. 2-Some are married and hating it, it's too much work, or they don't put enough work into it to make it enjoyable-therefore they come skeptical and bitter about marriage (some actually betting how long this newlywed couple will last and some even on the verge of divorce). 3-Others are single because they haven't been married yet, divorced, or death, and of those some really want to be married badly and others never again-for many reasons. And finally there are some who will never married as they are gifted by God to do so. So.. Whew, that's a huge cross section of people in which to address a message on God's design--within ten minutes, but I always try. This past week was especially challenging as I stood before my whole family and my one and only (blood) brother, Chris.

My Daughter, Isella, was one of three little flower girls (my cousin's daughters). Here they are as they wait for their big moment.

Here she is checking Papa's pockets for lint, snacks,...money..(BTW--my flower eventually got fixed).

We have a very large family (part due to being Italian, the other due to divorces, remarriages, and adoptions). Here are some family shots.

Above -my Mom with all my other brothers and sisters. (A combination of step-siblings, 3 adopted siblings, and three others who are foster brothers. Brady Bunch: eat your heart out!) This is my cousin's son, Caden, below. That night my cousin and I were talking about parenting and leading our children (that are on "loan" from God). I got to pray over him that night, and we had an impromptu dedication. It was a cool privilege.

Here is my Aunt and Uncle: Jerri and Daryl, with my two cousins: Gavin (5) and Cooper (1.5).
I have spoken about them a lot. Although I call them "Aunt and Uncle," they are more like good friends. Daryl is actually like a brother, both to me and Chris. Many of my friends have been praying for Daryl and his fight against cancer. He continues to amaze me with his great attitude. He has survived cancer over eight years. He is now in a new round (somewhat experimental and new) of radiation. Please continue to pray for him. What I loved about this wedding is that my brother and sister-in-law decided to make a donation to LiveStrong and gave everyone yellow bracelets, in which I am now wearing as a great reminder to pray for Daryl and all those (8 Million) fighting Cancer.


My dad giving his best man speech. He said it would be "short" and rolled out a scroll. He's to the right of the layered cake in the middle.

I choked up twice. Once during the ceremony talking about the importance modeling the love of God in our marriages according to Ephesians 5:22ff and showing love to your spouse by encouraging them with words (thinking of my own wife and how much I love her for being a great mom). The second was during my reception speech when I was encouraging my Chris, my brother. All his friends know him by the nickname, "Gap." What people don't know is that he shares the "Gap" nickname (and wears it well) with my Grandfather, who I was named after: Anthony James (Gap) Gapastione. Grandpa Gap was one of the most influential men in my life and I only had ten years with him. He died over twenty years ago, But it goes to show the power of someone who loves much. He went out of his way to spend time with me, made me feel special (nicknamed me A.J.), and was a generous and loving person. I still have fond memories of him and become emotional when I talk about his influence on my life-over twenty years ago his legacy still lives on. What great footsteps to follow for my brother and me.


Poppie and Grandma (Isella's names for my Dad and StepMom). Doesn't my Dad look like James Gandolfini(The guy who played Tony Soprano)?





You know I'm gonna get down when my brother comes up to me and says, "Let's have a dance off!" What is this? Grease? High School Musical? Either way, I'm poppin' moves that would make John Travolta and Justin Timberlake cringe. But hey, I had fun. (no wonder people like to crash weddings).



Yes ladies and gentleman, all this with not a sip of alcohol. This is no joke. Somewhere in a dance hall in Illinois late last Saturday night: yes, I did think I could dance!

A favorite part of life. My daughter in my lap.


Congrats Mr. & Mrs. (Chicago) Gapastione. Although, they are not the only Chicago Gapastiones, they now must be distinguished from Wendy and me as the Cali-Gaps.

By the way, I received so many text messages and facebook comments about how people were praying for me and my family during the weekend. Thank you! I love being a part of the church! A huge shout out to the Newlywed Koldings who sensed God was going to do something completely awe-inspiring. And so I waited and waited and one of the coolest moments was at 11:55pm, 5 minutes before the dance-a-thon (reception) shut down. A guy (friend of my brother) came up to me and asked a question. It started like this:

Guy: So what kind of church are you a part of
Me: One of those weird, judgmental cult ones, why? (No Just kidding)
Me: A Christian one.
Guy: What kind of Christian one?....

Then we started talking about God, the Church, grace, bad experiences with boring, irrelevant churches etc...And I tried not to rant or get on a soapbox too much but I was really excited someone was really interested seeking God. It seemed like he was hungry for the real God who he hadn't quite seen presented in a way that was loving or likable. So I did my best to affirm him about God's goodness and plan. I talked about our church family and how I had experienced God through community.

Guy: Well, if I could find a church like the one you are talking about I would love to be a part of that!

It was so awesome.

and GOD-RONICALLY, he and his family live in a town that has a great church that meets and serves there. We've talked by phone and he's now considering looking into this church --which happens to be the same one in which Aunt and Uncle are a part of in Illinois.

I am "awe-inspired!"

Community Love!

She held up her shiny diamond over the counter with a big smile. “We’re engaged,” I shouted, “That’s awesome,” and turned around to everyone in the café yelling, “Hey everyone, Andrew and Monique got engaged!” Everyone burst out clapping and shouting. I knew they had just got back from France so I asked, “Did you do it at the top of the Eiffel Tower?” They both nodded, smiled and explained the details. I was so excited for them. Andrew then looked at me as asked, “Do you wanna be our pastor?” “Of course I would!” (I’ve never been asked to be someone’s pastor. Beside I already consider myself their pastor “unofficially!”). Anyways, what Andrew actually was asking was if I would officiate their wedding-lead the ceremony/vows, etc. What an honor and a privilege. It really is one of my favorite things to do. I love doing weddings because of the sanctity and specialness of that day in the life of a couple. And to think I just met Monique and Andrew last July. I just love our Redwood City community. Andrew and Monique are the owners of La Tartine café in down town Redwood City. The PCC Young Adults (and some high school students) hang out there every Sunday after SUNDAY NIGHT the 5:30pm PCC gathering. (Not to mention Wendy and I on dates nights and other coffee craving adventures. I have a new fave: White Mocha Freeze). Inevitably conversations and relationships with those from PCC are fostered there but also with others who work there or who happen to wander in and I’m seeing some cool natural and intentional friendships and conversations there. Join us there for the next 5 weeks (until Summer Mercy Cafe starts at PCC) and learn love to our community, too!

Wedded Bliss

Right now I am writing from a hotel in Chicago. I got to see some family and also visited my Alma Mater NPU to promote PCC's Summer Internship. But the main reason we (me and my family) are in Chicago-land culminated this weekend with the wedding of a good friend of ours Aimee, now Mrs. Melgar. It was a beautiful ceremony of worshiping God. I love officiating weddings (a lot more than I like going to them, sometimes).


There is something amazing about facilitating this momentous event the lives of people. I don't just want to sit and "watch" but I want to participate! Especially when I get to celebrate with two people who have patiently and purely waited for God's best for their lives it is powerful!
Getting to pray with people, speak from God's word about God's plan for love and relationships--I just love it. Last night was no exception. What an honor! And I always get to have great conversations after, too. Mostly because people have stereotypical expectations about pastors. Why is it so weird that I was dancing the Macarena and doing the Robot on the dance floor? Don't all pastors do that?
(Seriously, last night I got to pray with a couple whose grandson Dylan was in some critical care at three months of age. Please pray for him to heal!)

I have loved having my family attached at my side, too. After the ceremony I just had to run to Wendy and tell her how much I love her and that I will forever keep my vows to her! Another nuance in the wedding officiating for me is what God is teaching me and doing in me now that I am a father. Below is a letter I will print out and put in Isella's journal that I am keeping for her!



Dear Isella,
You had your first wedding experience. I was officiating the ceremony for two great Christians who God brought together. I got to see two people vow to commit to love each other and rely on God's power to have a marriage that thrives and lasts. I usually get a little choked up when I am doing a ceremony because preparing always reminds me how much I love your mom and how I would do it all over again with her. But now that we have you I have more reasons to get emotional. As I watched the bride's father "give her away" tonight I couldn't help but think some day I will do that for you. Just thinking about it causes me to well up. Not so much that some day I will "lose you" to your future husband (although I do get a little sad thinking about that and that I loved you first song hits me right in the gut), but because of this amazing privilege God has given me to raise you up to be a godly woman--just like your mom--and prepare you for two things--1-to raise you to love God and be a blessing to the world and if God wills a total gift to your future husband and 2-first and foremost (if God wills) to wait and find a worthy man who loves God with his whole heart and will love and honor you! After the ceremony I was holding you and walking through out the wedding hall talking to you about how much I love you and how I vow to give you my best so that you can be who God created you to be. I desperately pray and hope that you see God's good plan for your life and that you make great choices that honor him. Every day I will pray for you and remind you of this so that when that one day comes and I give you away and you are now longer under my care, I can faithfully say to you that I have loved raising you and preparing you for the life God has for you!
Dio Ti Benedica figlia mia! Ti amo con tutto corozone mio!