In Memory

The lord gives and he takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21).

After multiple red eye plane trips and airport connections, I'm back home from the memorial and celebration of my Step-brother Kyle. I had all day Saturday with family to reflect, pray, cry, hug, and laugh. I am so glad I had that time. (His obituary can be read here.) Although tragedy brought us together, God's goodness and grace came out in so many ways. Remembering, eating together, playing games, praying, reconnecting with family, meeting new friends, and reflecting on Kyle's life (as well as the meaning of our own) was a bittersweet time.

My brother Chris (who just two weeks earlier was married) and I landed at DFW airport and quickly rented a car to drive about 75 miles outside of Dallas to the memorial service. It was amazing with over 500 people showing up to remember, sing, watch pictures of Kyle's life, and most importantly to hear and respond to the Gospel spoken through the various pastors and people who knew Kyle.

Some of Kyle's prized possessions like football jerseys, car parts, and size 16 shoes were on display. Kyle loved hunting and all types of animals, especially dogs. He was known for singing that song "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," especially in the shower.

Since Kyle was a deputy he had about 30 uniformed service men and women who came in his honor. This was quite a sight.





I am grateful for the Church family of CLC. Lead Pastor Barry spoke God's truth and brought words of comfort and challenge at the burial. They also had a 21 gun salute graveside. Both my Step-dad and Kyle's mom received a folded flag in his honor.


The little town in Texas had an outpouring of support and encouraging words. Pray for Kyle's friends and my family (consisting of mom, step-dad, step-sister, and five other siblings from age 12-18) as they process. May God's power and peace be strong to satisfy and comfort them. May their lives be more committed to knowing God and living in his ways as they process their own life as a result of this experience.

I myself was so saddened at Kyle's loss and seeing everyone else suffering in the pain of his absence, that it caused me deep reflection on my own life.
Here are thoughts that set up camp in my mind:
Death reminds us of the shortness of life. We are reminded of the invitation God has given us to center our life on Him and prioritize his kingdom, family, forgiveness, and living in a way that brings honor to him every day and not put off obeying and following Him.

Death is painful and confusing. Words are good but sometimes not enough or the best response in times of grief. Sometimes we just need to be quiet and pray or cry, and other times we just need to be silent and hold each other. God is close to the broken hearted and he rescues those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).

We must do life together not alone. (BTW thanks to all who have prayed, texted, emailed me, etc.) People responded generously, quickly, and in abundance. I was proud of the Church who came out and served in so many ways providing food, prayer, and presence. When the Church truly serves it touches so many lives. There were numerous people who saw God through words spoken, music, prayer and the overall sense that life doesn't end with death for those who know and trust God through Jesus Christ. (I personally had some really great conversations and witnessed people who seemed open and hungry for God. I was touched). Very importantly, we must remember the pain doesn't end quickly and grief lasts for a long time. The need for love, togetherness, prayer and support will extend for quite some time.

Kyle's death reminded me that I want to love my family well and be in good relationship with each other. I want to live forgiven and reconciled and hold no grudges. And finally, I want help others be prepared for their going home and standing before our lord (and be prepared myself)! Because with God's love, following Jesus, and living in the Spirit, death cannot conquer us, but we are victorious through it.

1 Corinthians 15:55-57

"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"^[ The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

It's a......

the word is out.

Vlog Episode 4 September 25, 2008 (TRT: 5:22)

I filmed this Vlog early in the week and didn't have time to edit with the news of my Step-bro Kyle, until last night. I almost wondered if I should just bag this Vlog and not post since it didn't seem to fit with the mood of this week's circumstances. I actually say, "This season is going good so far," and it didn't seem right that I should post it in light of the death experienced this week. But then I got this comment from good friends the Wongs: "Life is so bittersweet - a wedding one week, finding out if you're having a boy or a girl, seeing Isella play, and grieving a loss. And God in the midst of all of it. God is sovereign and mysterious." They are so right.

Thanks Glenn and Jenn.

Since I love the opportunity to to express creatively my time spent editing was fun and worshipful. Enjoy. I love our community and being the church.

So with that, here's VLOG Episode 4, which includes your predictions on Baby Gap #2!

Hope and encouragement in an email

I received this email the same day Kyle died. God knew this week would require extra grace and encouragement for me. What seemed "random" came at the right time with specific and strategic purpose. As I read it I get chills. I've been sitting on it all week and now, (with permission from sender) I get to share it.
-----

To Tony Gapastione
Dear Friend,

I call you friend though we have never met, and I have prayed for you and truly thanked our Lord Jesus Christ for you many, many times in this past year. I'm sure you have no idea how blessed my life has been because of you and the impact you had on one individual some years past.

My name is Livie. I lived in Northern California nearly my entire life until one year ago when i moved to Poland to teach English at a Christian language school. I ended up involved in an international English speaking church where I currently serve as a ministry intern. I knew that coming here would impact my life, and that this was truly the path God had for me. But for all the blessings that God has given to me over this year, there is one that cannot be compared to any other.

Over the course of this past year, it was through working with the young adults ministry that I met an amazing individual leading that group who used to attend PCC named Krzysztof Piotrowski aka Chris Columbus to his friends.

Chris has been an amazing part of our church here in Warsaw, and often speaks of his time in California and makes mention of you and the impact you've had on his life. Apparently his time there did an awful lot to shape his perspective on ministry, the great commission and how we as Christians are to live that out. Chris does live this out. He also knows what it is to love people and care about them. These two things have made him such a vital part of our church and impacted my own understanding of ministry and caring for others in an unbelievably big way. Every Sunday he gathers people to go for coffee after service just to connect with them and get them talking about faith and life and helping to integrate these two things because this is what he saw an example of during his time in California. I spent over half a year getting to know him and his heart for God. These are the conversations in which he often talked about you.


So for this. Thank you. Thank you for letting God use you. Your impact on Chris's view of ministry and faith lived out has been really big and it has been used to impact not only myself, but also countless lives here in Poland

But there is something else I wanted to say thank you for regarding your impact on Chris's life, and it is perhaps a little more personal in nature. His attitude toward God-honoring relationships between men and women.

Chris says that you, more than any friend, relative, or pastor, has had a bigger impact on his views of relationship, purity, and marriage than anyone. He says that having been able to talk with you about what good healthy relationships between men and women look like, the kind that honor God and are something truly beautiful, made a difference in his perspective. But then also, getting to see that you lived this out in your life, he says really made all the difference in the world as far as wanting that. Willing to strive for that, willing to wait for that, and he has been.

It is for that, as Chris's fiancee, soon to be wife, I especially wanted to say thank you.

Thank you for your willingness to be used by God to touch Chris's life.



I, who have been a Christian nearly my whole life, have never been in such a Godly relationship as I have been with Chris. Never have I found anyone so committed to seeking to honor God with everything in the relationship, especially in Godly devotion to the other person and to purity. We both realize that honoring God comes first, and that by honoring and being committed to God we are able to honor each other and from that comes this amazing relationship and love that is something so beautiful. Every time we talk, we delight in praying together, studying God's word, and now are looking forward to the days and years ahead when we don't have to go home to different addresses. But for the time being, we are both so delighted at the joy that comes from having a relationship/engagement that is pure and right before our Lord.

Often we never know where the people God places in our lives will go, what will happen to them or even how we were used in their lives. Yet I wanted very much to be able to share this with you, the blessing that you have been in one Polish guy's life and those around him who've been touched by him because of that, especially the one he'll be sharing his life with.

So simply... thank you. God bless you for your impact on Chris's life and mine.

In Christ,

Livie

---
I don't share this to toot my horn by any means. I want to toot God's horn. It's all about what he did in Chris' life and how we at PCC got to be a part of it. (1 Corinthians 3:7).

I can't tell you enough how encouraging this email was for me. Getting an email like this is so rare. I replied back to Livie and have been back in touch with Chris. It gave me some added encouragement to keep doing what God has called me to do. Stories like this remind me to boldly speak and teach God's word for we can see some results here in our time as well as on the other side of eternity. I love challenging and preparing people for the future. I would have never guessed how God would use my meeting Chris in 2001. Not only am I stoked he's a Godly man and getting getting married to a Godly woman, but he loves ministry and coffee!

death, fear, and reflection

I am utterly amazed at the out pour of prayer and words of support. Thank you to all who emailed, commented, facebooked, text messaged, prayed, and showed love. It still seems very surreal to me. I talked with my Mom today and they are still arranging the memorial to celebrate my step-brother's life. I feel so sad for my family enduring this situation. There are so many people, siblings especially, grieving Kyle's death deeply. I hope to be able to fly out to Texas at some point to be a part of the remembering.

The story can be read here.

Today, every time I was in the car I couldn't help imagining my car hitting a tree, or losing control somehow with a blow out. Just this week the same thing took the life of a 9 year old boy in San Mateo.

I could easily see how this thought could paralyze anyone with fear or paranoia. All I could do is pray to trust God's love and his plan for my life. I trust he knows our days (Psalm 139). I wanted to squeeze and hug my family each time I left them today in case it was my last. I wanted to ensure that I honored God in all that I did and left a legacy that would always point to him. If only I could live each day like that. It seems that death always reminds that life comes to an end, and what we lived for today will live beyond us tomorrow.I want my life to always point to God.

Father God, I ask for your grace on us. We need your love and comfort. We need your power to see life as you designed it and live with eternity in mind. May we be Colossians 3 people.

In the name of our savior Jesus Christ who gives us life now and beyond the grave,
Amen

Mourning

Just a little over a week ago my family was celebrating a wedding and now we are mourning. My Step-brother Kyle died today in a car crash.



Please pray for my family, especially my Mom Robin, Step-father, Greg, and siblings. Kyle was the tall one in the back. He would have been twenty years old in November. I don't have many more details other than he was on his way to work and never made it. They live in Texas outside of Dallas.



Here's a picture of our visit to Texas about year ago. Big guy, big sense of humor.
He will be missed.

"Doing" weddings

I got to do three wedding ceremonies this summer. Two for great friends in our community and just last week, for my own brother. I really like "doing" weddings. Partly because it's exciting to stand before two people making such a huge commitment as the one representing God in sealing the promise. Another reason is I like to have fun (and make weddings fun-Have you ever been to a boring wedding? Ug! Comment now!) and remind people of God's design and how amazing marriage can be--especially for the guests. I think some of the brides and the grooms are so busy, excited, stressed, nervous, scattered, distracted, and hungry that they barely remember what the officiant says until they watch the video after the honeymoon. That's just how it goes sometimes for some. But the guests who come, although maybe hungry, aren't so distracted and a little more open to "heart." I always assume the following in regards to the guests: 1-Some are married and enjoying it, working hard and making it work. 2-Some are married and hating it, it's too much work, or they don't put enough work into it to make it enjoyable-therefore they come skeptical and bitter about marriage (some actually betting how long this newlywed couple will last and some even on the verge of divorce). 3-Others are single because they haven't been married yet, divorced, or death, and of those some really want to be married badly and others never again-for many reasons. And finally there are some who will never married as they are gifted by God to do so. So.. Whew, that's a huge cross section of people in which to address a message on God's design--within ten minutes, but I always try. This past week was especially challenging as I stood before my whole family and my one and only (blood) brother, Chris.

My Daughter, Isella, was one of three little flower girls (my cousin's daughters). Here they are as they wait for their big moment.

Here she is checking Papa's pockets for lint, snacks,...money..(BTW--my flower eventually got fixed).

We have a very large family (part due to being Italian, the other due to divorces, remarriages, and adoptions). Here are some family shots.

Above -my Mom with all my other brothers and sisters. (A combination of step-siblings, 3 adopted siblings, and three others who are foster brothers. Brady Bunch: eat your heart out!) This is my cousin's son, Caden, below. That night my cousin and I were talking about parenting and leading our children (that are on "loan" from God). I got to pray over him that night, and we had an impromptu dedication. It was a cool privilege.

Here is my Aunt and Uncle: Jerri and Daryl, with my two cousins: Gavin (5) and Cooper (1.5).
I have spoken about them a lot. Although I call them "Aunt and Uncle," they are more like good friends. Daryl is actually like a brother, both to me and Chris. Many of my friends have been praying for Daryl and his fight against cancer. He continues to amaze me with his great attitude. He has survived cancer over eight years. He is now in a new round (somewhat experimental and new) of radiation. Please continue to pray for him. What I loved about this wedding is that my brother and sister-in-law decided to make a donation to LiveStrong and gave everyone yellow bracelets, in which I am now wearing as a great reminder to pray for Daryl and all those (8 Million) fighting Cancer.


My dad giving his best man speech. He said it would be "short" and rolled out a scroll. He's to the right of the layered cake in the middle.

I choked up twice. Once during the ceremony talking about the importance modeling the love of God in our marriages according to Ephesians 5:22ff and showing love to your spouse by encouraging them with words (thinking of my own wife and how much I love her for being a great mom). The second was during my reception speech when I was encouraging my Chris, my brother. All his friends know him by the nickname, "Gap." What people don't know is that he shares the "Gap" nickname (and wears it well) with my Grandfather, who I was named after: Anthony James (Gap) Gapastione. Grandpa Gap was one of the most influential men in my life and I only had ten years with him. He died over twenty years ago, But it goes to show the power of someone who loves much. He went out of his way to spend time with me, made me feel special (nicknamed me A.J.), and was a generous and loving person. I still have fond memories of him and become emotional when I talk about his influence on my life-over twenty years ago his legacy still lives on. What great footsteps to follow for my brother and me.


Poppie and Grandma (Isella's names for my Dad and StepMom). Doesn't my Dad look like James Gandolfini(The guy who played Tony Soprano)?





You know I'm gonna get down when my brother comes up to me and says, "Let's have a dance off!" What is this? Grease? High School Musical? Either way, I'm poppin' moves that would make John Travolta and Justin Timberlake cringe. But hey, I had fun. (no wonder people like to crash weddings).



Yes ladies and gentleman, all this with not a sip of alcohol. This is no joke. Somewhere in a dance hall in Illinois late last Saturday night: yes, I did think I could dance!

A favorite part of life. My daughter in my lap.


Congrats Mr. & Mrs. (Chicago) Gapastione. Although, they are not the only Chicago Gapastiones, they now must be distinguished from Wendy and me as the Cali-Gaps.

By the way, I received so many text messages and facebook comments about how people were praying for me and my family during the weekend. Thank you! I love being a part of the church! A huge shout out to the Newlywed Koldings who sensed God was going to do something completely awe-inspiring. And so I waited and waited and one of the coolest moments was at 11:55pm, 5 minutes before the dance-a-thon (reception) shut down. A guy (friend of my brother) came up to me and asked a question. It started like this:

Guy: So what kind of church are you a part of
Me: One of those weird, judgmental cult ones, why? (No Just kidding)
Me: A Christian one.
Guy: What kind of Christian one?....

Then we started talking about God, the Church, grace, bad experiences with boring, irrelevant churches etc...And I tried not to rant or get on a soapbox too much but I was really excited someone was really interested seeking God. It seemed like he was hungry for the real God who he hadn't quite seen presented in a way that was loving or likable. So I did my best to affirm him about God's goodness and plan. I talked about our church family and how I had experienced God through community.

Guy: Well, if I could find a church like the one you are talking about I would love to be a part of that!

It was so awesome.

and GOD-RONICALLY, he and his family live in a town that has a great church that meets and serves there. We've talked by phone and he's now considering looking into this church --which happens to be the same one in which Aunt and Uncle are a part of in Illinois.

I am "awe-inspired!"

Looking for photographers and film-makers

6th Annual Hallowed: an underground awakening – Saturday, October 25th at 7 pm – Club Oasis, 200 N First St. San Jose. The theme is “Lens” which will be focused on compassion. Pray that artists would respond to our call for short film submissions and photography. Pray for partnerships with other churches, and many would attend and hearts would be won for Christ.

If you would like to participate contact my friend, Jonathan Fung. He teaches at the SF Academy of Art and is also a pastor. Here is his email: funghus@sbcglobal.net.

Here are videos from the past:

2007


2006

9-0-2-1-NO

I have guilty pleasures, yes. I admit it. The EW magazine, Madonna (scandalous), some reality shows (yes, I've tuned in to ANTM, embarrassing) and even some loud mouthed political radio shows, but..This is a huge confession.

Since I went through my high school years watching Kelley, Brandon, Dylan, and Brenda,

I thought I'd check out the newly revamped CW show: 90210. I had my wife DVR it while I was at the United Hillsong concert exactly a week ago today.

Am I the only one who wasted 120 minutes (thanks to DVR I could have fast forwarded through commercials, but another confession: I like them. Sick, I know) of my life watching 90210? If you did, will you admit it? Comment now. Now. I'm waiting.... (Please make me feel better). But please don't shame me.

If you didn't tune in, pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself, if it's waiting in your TIVO-delete it.

BAD CHOICE.

9-0-2-1-NO. NO!

Heck no.

Why do I say, NO?

The extreme, super-spiritual answer:
How many more superficial, mean girl, one tree hill, clueless, gossip girl, OC, spin-offs do we need to deteriorate our culture and morally ruin the minds of teenagers, twenty-somethings, and possibly elementary aged kids who sneak peaks? Do we need more BAD role models in our culture that promote sexual promiscuity, deception, manipulation, cheating, pornogrpahy, disobeying parents, substance abuse, materialism, and vanity (all in the 1st installment of our West Beverly High crew) for our already struggling generation? Just another Hollywood attempt to get ratings by selling temporary satisfactions and glorifying the self-centered lifestyle. Couldn't we find more uplifting shows on the food network or Man Vs. Wild (or practically anything on the discovery channel). We all could spend our time doing better things, like learning to cook salmon, surviving in the wild, or hey reading our Bibles. Novel idea.

The thumbs down, Roger Ebert, "art critic" answer:
This attempt at revamping an iconic show that lasted ten seasons in the 90's is a risk...that failed hellatiously. The entire first episode was nothing but stereotypical characters and situations. The jocks, the drama queens, the substance users, the party girls, etc. Do we really need another show with teenagers showing off their private jets, lying about oral sex, and spending $800 on a dress (yes, these actually happened in the pilot episode). How about a show with award winning acting, real life situations that acknowledge and wrestle through issues and spotlight deep and witty characters like Juno?

The acting in 90210 was horrible, the writing was cliche, and overall the word CHEESY comes to mind. I'm so tired of bad TV. (If it wasn't for the WGA strike we'd have more episodes of LOST to watch!). Isn't the world tired of shows where people live immature, self-centered lives with no redeeming value what so ever? Uh, no. It's not. Cause we'll always be interested in watching this type of garbage.

Ok, maybe my angst comes from how possibly real to life this is for SOME PEOPLE. I know not everyone lives large like this, but I remember my high school experience and the masks I wore. I was desperately wanted acceptance and significance. And I also interact with many students both in high school and college that face the same challenges. And then my angst turns to sadness. I guess Solomon was right. There is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

Same Zip Code
Same Drama
Just different people.

Maybe the frustration comes from sinful desires and the wake up call to reality (thanks to the Holy Spirit's prompting). If I (or we) was honest, I'd admit living in this fantasy. Come on, right? That's what sucks us in to these guilty pleasures. Wouldn't it be great if life was like Hollywood? Always look zit free in the newest designer clothes, drive great convertible cars, live in mansions the size of Disneyland, get anything you wanted, sleep around with anyone and everyone with no fear of STDS, party it up, and have it "all work out" within an hour slot on TV. But when we combat lies with truth we are smarter than that. We know #1-that this isn't reality (everyone wakes up with bad hair and breath) and #2-there's real pain and deep consequences to living life like this. And TV rarely exposes or deals with these. We know that God's design calls for us to live a life that has purpose beyond our our fleshly desires. We know that relationships are hard work and honesty must be a foundation. God's word calls us to DENY OURSELVES and pick up our cross and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23-27). We are called to lose our life and forfeit comfort. Most of us are better off, more safe, more healthy, and more satisfied by living lives according to God's truth especially when we find it a joy and not a burden. Unfortunately, Hollywood will never make a TV show about that. (For your listening pleasure listen to SUPERCHICK'S TV LAND). (Another song I like is Vicky Beeching's: Created).

So, what about you? What tabloid do you read, reality show, or utterly pointless TV drama do you watch, (or secretly wish you did)? How do you handle the messages from the media regarding appearance, sex, relationships, marriage, stuff, etc?

Once you confess we'll all start a support group...or else a production company

Keep praying for Glory

I am thankful. I am loving this little girl and I've never met her. I posted a while back to pray for Glory Ruth, the baby born prematurely to friends who a part of our church family and staff of our community center. In fact, Glory's Dad and I share office space (our doors open up to each other). Here is the good news report from the past couple weeks. Please continue praying.

9/1/08
Glory is doing very well. she had a blood test today and her red blood count went down from 20.9 to 20.1 over the last week. if it had dropped below 20 then she would have had to have a blood transfusion. she must have known that as she is really a tough fighter and she kept it just above the line. as it stands she will continue status quo until her next blood test in a week. thank you for all your prayers. she continues to gain weight and is currently 1345 grams (nearly 3 lbs)!!

9/9/08
Glory is growing daily. She is no longer in a covered isolette, her bed is now in “crib” mode and she is doing fine maintaining her body temperature. She is closing in on 3 and a half pounds and looks really beautiful. She may be looking at coming home in 3 or 4 weeks!!!!

Thank you all for your support and prayers.

Glitz, Glam, & Jesus

Last night hundreds, probably almost thousands, paid $22 (that's like 5 Starbucks' drinks, man) to sing, dance, and witness the world wide, (church proclaimed), phenomenon known as HILLSONG UNITED. A group of people who love God and want to serve him in the world (AKA: a church) through music, media, and messages. So, I must mention that this church (a called out people), also happens to be made up of extremely good looking, trendy dressed, twenty somethings with cool accents, who dance and sweat around the stage strategically striking awesome guitar strumming poses. What better way to get people to follow Jesus, right? (hmm..Shane Claiborne has a great quote in Irresistible Revolution about being "cool for Jesus," and how Jesus might even have been considered UGLY. Yikes. I'm convicted).


Can I say if I've coveted anything--besides being a hand and foot model-it's to be a sweaty Rock Star.

So there we were just a small group of youth groupies, tweens, twenty (and thirty plus-me) somethings all crammed into a building in San Jose to experience the music that has filled the lips of worshippers all around the world. I was excited to go because I love music and experiencing God in and through these types of venues. And I love the story of the Hillsong band which emerged from the youth group of passionate followers of Christ. But here's my thoughts on my experience...


First off, when we arrived at Jubilee Christian Center, no joke we (Shoe and Rocky carpooled with me) were at the end of this line at 6:30pm. The last will be first, right? I couldn't fathom so many people lining up for a gathering like this--and made me wish this were the norm--the typical case for most of our worship gatherings--maybe that's what it felt like for the guys in Mark 2.


But thanks to friends who arrived earlier-we DID get to be first---cause....WE CUT in with them. Did I feel bad? Yes. Yes, I did, but because everyone around loved God, too, I absorbed the love and grace that permeated that place--and didn't get punched in the face, nor feel bad afterward--like what would have a happened if we were entering any other different concert. So continuing, we entered the huge building--which some people mislabel a church-(more ranting on that in a post later this week) that I admit I admired!

It was ginormous, with it's high tech, swarming, strobe lights and feature film-like video equipment! Again, I tried not to covet. But then I started getting all philosophical and theological. Maybe it's because I'm the 30plus guy now. But I was thinking about how we as the church complicate the gospel, mislead people, and get carried away by the hype--which, come on, I love a good smoke machine, once in a while, just like the rest--but sometimes it's these experiences that American Christians compare as they "church-shop" and then don't commit to a family of believers because they "don't feel" the worship, don't "get fed" by the messages, and don't like what they see. Oops, I digress, I said I would rant later this week. So, last night, I couldn't help think of the worldwide church....like in Africa. How our brothers and sisters there simply worship by the dust of the ground and with only the sounds they can make from their own mouths. Humbling. Humbling, Humble pie! They aren't complaining about their worship venue, that's for sure.

So by this time I pull my scattered brain back into the moment. As the night goes on they gave away FREE STUFF like CDs and T-shirts (with their cool logo) by throwing out their products to us blood-thirsty American consumers--sorry-more sarcasm-(I ALMOST bought a t-shirt for $25 but bought instead a sticker for $2). Cool Logo, huh? A picture is worth a 1000 words.



They also had a competition. Below is our very own Carla, who went up for the "Australian accent impressions." Every one thought she did great! And that's because she's a native Australian. Way to go CAAHR-LA!

So then..
Out comes their (very non-geeky) Hillsong United front man for the Band. He really wasn't your typical sweaty rock star, even though he looks like it. He's got heart. He really challenged us. As all these philosophical thoughts were going on in my head and I was seeing all these people raising hands and singing out to God--myself being one of them...

I found myself really doing some mental work, wanting my heart to be right with God as I sang. I didn't expect this experience to be "work" at all. At one point I heard another one of my (non Hillsong) favorite songs playing in my head. Jon Foreman's INSTEAD OF A SHOW which has amazing lyrics from Isaiah. I've fallen in love with the song while at the same time feeling completely uncomfortable and disturbed. Watch and listen here. And it was a perfect anthem for the night. So as I am singing these great Hillsongs--I'm thinking about how easy this is to worship God in this way (feeling conviction and enjoyment at the same time) and how good it feels as I dance around with the colored lights swirling all around me (Seriously at one point I imagined Heaven and the excited of worshipping at God's throne). Is there anything wrong with that? Comments? I don't think so, unless--like Mr. Non-geeky guitar man said last night--that's all we do. I was so struck, appreciative, and impressed that this glam band for Jesus really GETS IT. In fact, that's what he said last night. At one point he stopped, and looked at the crowd. Almost prophetically, in the quiet- between songs, with some gut of frustration and compassion--he said, "I wish we could all just get it {the gospel}." And he went on to talk about the Church's need to GO, to serve, and to live out God's love in the world by loving others-AS WORSHIP! And check this--they had videos of serving and going--TO AFRICA.

Hey, I HEART HILLSONG UNITED!!!!

They really seemed to be challenging and warning a generation of people from getting emotionally wrapped up in feeling good about singing and walking out the door and doing nothing- ignoring the real needs of the world. And maybe he was also warning us NOT to pigeon hole our worship to just singing--but that it also includes feeding the hungry, taking in orphans, clothing the naked, healing the sick, and visiting the imprisoned. This gutsy Australian also called us out as the American Church saying we are a SLEEPING GIANT! And he's right, we have SO MUCH and we have so much potential that we really could help lower the pain and evil in the world (some being 27 million in human trafficking, 63 million orphans, 1 in 5 in San Francisco hungry to name a few) but we're tired, blind, busy, lazy, and too comfortable.

I walked out of that building last night breathing deep, breathing deep the breath of God and the mission of his church. Now, that was a sweet time of worship for me. It "felt" good and not so good. And I like that.

As I made my way to be with our Street Church, I was encourage and filled.



Here's the crew who came together last night and gave up 5 Starbucks drinks. Way to suffer for Jesus everyone!

What I did on my SUMMER STAYCATION

Well, it's almost come to a close. A great two weeks ending with Labor Day weekend. I will return to host Sunday Night at PCC tonight and rejoin the La Tartine crowd-then back in the office Tuesday. But I wanted to do a quick recap--for my own reflection--and if any readers care to know how "productive" I was the past two weeks. Wink, wink.

So, let's see. If this were the first day of school and I was assigned an essay on how I spent my summer Staycation it would be:

Sleeping, sleeping, and more sleeping. Mind you that "sleeping in" with a toddler consists of 7:30 am, and when my wife takes the early shift, I got to 8:30am. (Quite a difference from the "good ol' days of waking at 10am!).

Spent lots of time reading and watching movies--another post on that soon.

Good times of journaling and enjoying my new spot-a bistro table which I bought to journal and read in the forest-----our backyard.

Lots of organizing and more unpacking-Finally have some, I repeat, SOME organization in the garage from our mid-summer move which we still have about 10% left to finish.

and lots of trips around our great Bay Area with my awesome, little family!

Pretty much no time on facebook, no email, and only two times blogging-and I rarely answered (or returned) phone calls promptly. It was a much needed break!

Here are various pictures from my STAYCATION!

Needless to say, I soaked in so much time with my daughter. She is a blast. Her little personality is so fun and she has tons, tons, tons of energy that make me feel old, old, old!


Isella got a chalkboard and has started following in her mom's footsteps already. She's got the making of a teacher. It's so cute how she draws and gets proud of herself for reaching high. She always wants us to draw balloons.



Below is her 1st painting experience at the San Jose Children's Museum.






In her animal sound variety show, she's now picked up the HOWL of a wolf. ARROOO--OOOH-OOH-OOOH


My wife Wendy made some great hamburgers and I got to grill them out! Sooo Good. And yes, I do wear that chef's hat. learned a lot from my 8 years of restaurant experience: It's all about keeping the hair out of the food- and a chef's hat looks better than a hairnet.



Time well spent.

imix..while enjoying time off

God continues to speak to me through music. Do you ever just find yourself weeping while you you listen in your car or on your ipod? Whether by myself or in a crowd of people it doesn't matter-when I am centered on God he can reach me, settle me, and move in me through music. I create this mix on the heels of summer. Post interns, sans crazy summer pace. I am tired, exhausted really, but thankful. I am enjoying time off, being with my family and without any real agenda or appointments. It's nice to decompress. This mix tells the story of the summer and moving forward. Will you stay the same or will you change? Will you choose to act the show or live the life? I hear these questions posed to me and now I turn them to you through these songs. I dedicate them to Autumn ( a great musician and enjoyer of music who shared some of these songs with me), the summer interns, and Rashell--who waited patiently for this imix. Lets live live prayerfully, Biblically, and authentically with no secrets--as a way to thank God and honor Him.

Break Time! What a summer!

Hey Community--

Just communicating to you all that I will be taking a break starting today for two weeks! I won't be around much and will not be online at all (facebook or email) in an attempt to prioritize family, rest/recoop, and really hear and connect with God!

I truly love our church family and being a part of what God is doing here in Redwood City. What a crazy, cool, busy summer we've had.

Highlights include:

The 1st Deep of the Summer at the Fallon house before Ben left for turkey and we "communed" with Afghan bread and juice.

Azusa Pacific's original play JOE in our worship center

Worshiping with Shane Claiborne and the bay area's finest Christ-followers in San Francisco's Grace Cathedral in July

Hotwater weekend's amazing musical guests, togetherness in general that weekend praying and sharing God in August

Baptisms

Seeing Tori come to know God

Interns and their interactions in our church family

Small groups at Red Morton Park

Mercy Cafe-an outstanding third year (bigger and better)

Street Church

Our Stand worship art on Sunday Nights

and

Dance party glow stick action on the campground & fellowship hall

Seriously a great summer!

Thanks to all of you who served and participated in making this a freaky deaky rad season of life and community!

Well, now the summer is over and it's back to La Tartine on Sunday nights! Our Discipleship nights will start back up at our (the Gap) home in September and we'll resume the Deep again--all dates TBA! Pleas consider partnering and serving Tuesday or Thursday nights with Street Church (www.street-church.com) we really need people to be a presence on the street to love, pray, serve food, and talk with people about how they are loved by God!

I'd also love to encourage you to consider being in a small group on TUESDAY NIGHTS! I'd like to start a new monthly gathering on Tuesday nights at 6:30 for all men and women in small groups to be together--more to ocme!

more info/dates when I see you next or on our website or my blog!

TILL then I leave you this challenge

BE A LIVING AND SERVING COMMUNITY
BE A LOVER OF GOD AND ONE LOVED BY HIM INTIMATELY
BE PEOPLE OF PRAYER, PRAYING WITH ONE ANOTHER REGULARLY
BE THE CHURCH WHO KNOWS AND SHARES THE WORD
BE MEN AND WOMEN OF INTEGRITY, AUTHENTICITY, PURITY AND NO SECRETS


God Loves You,

Tony

Update on Glory Ruth

Please keep praying for Glory. This is from her Dad:



I just came home from visiting Glory. she seems to be progressing very well. thank you all for your continued support and prayers. below is a report from Glory's nurse and case manager if you are interested.

One day at a time
Sid


Developmental Care Plan
Glory

Competencies:
Glory is able to attain a steady heart rate, good oxygen saturation and pink color when she is handled, as well as during her quiet time in the isolette. She was positioned on her side with her arms and legs flexed an tucked in close to her body. As Glory moves about in her bed she attempts to selfcalm herself by bringing her hands up to her face and mouth, and by clasping her feet together. At times she pulls her arms and legs in closer to her body for a more secure feeling. Glory also make soft mouthing movements on her feeding tub, which is a sign of hunger,but is also a way for her to calm herself. During alertness she raises her eyebrows to show an interest in socialization.

Sensitivities:
Glory is sensitive to activity around her bedside, with sounds within the nursery, and to handling. She generally breathes at an irregular rate with some retractions seen beneath her rib cage. As she is handled her retractions become deeper and her breathing is faster, but at times she has pauses in her breathing. However, her oxygen saturation remains stable throughout. Although Glory's color is pink, she has an underlying yellowish color (jaundice) to her skin. During handling she becomes slightly mottled in color. Glory exhibits a lot of twitching of her face, body, arms, and legs, both during handling and when she is quiet. This is fairly common for premature infant and should decrease as she stabilizes her breathing, and gets bigger. Glory squirms and stretches, using jerky, flailing movements. She extends her arms out in front of her, as well as spreads her arms wide apart. She also extends her legs and pushes against the blanket. However, she usually tries to pull herself back together by bringing her arms and legs back into flexion. Glory fussed a few times with handling, but generally stayed in a quiet state.

Recommendations:
Thank you for placing Glory in the covered isolette to protect her from environmental stimulation. Position Glory with her arms and legs flexed and tucked in close to the midline of her body. Bring her hands up to her face, and bring her legs together to allow her to self-calm herself. For Glory to touch her own face is the most calming thing she can do for herself. Place her well down into the fold of the snuggle-up to give her close, firm boundaries to push against. Bring the straps of the snuggle-up over her arms and hips to bring he boundaries in closer for a more secure feeling. When placing Glory on her tummy, use the prone positioner to allow he to drop forward for more relaxed shoulders. When handling Glory use frequent handcontainment, by placing one of your hands over her head and the other hand over her hips an legs. Provide this containment prior to handling her to prepare her for a change; during handling to help keep her calm and well regulated; and following handling to help her smoothly transition into deep sleep. Once she is relaxed and going back to sleep attempt to leave her alone until she needs to eat again, or until she needs you to attend to her. Use slow, deliberate motions when handling her, allowing her to set the pace of the care she receives. Encourage the parents to participate in Glory's care, as much as tolerated. Allow them to kangaroo hold (skin-to-skin) each day for extended periods of time to help develop a closer bond. Encourage them to talk to and touch Glory when they visit as their touch is a more loving touch, rather than the working touch of the staff. Provide support and encouragement to the parents as they welcome Glory into their family.

G. M, RN,BSN
Developmental Case Manager

HWW 2008

Hot Water Weekend August 1-3, 2008.

I love my job.

Vacation Vacation..oh, How I love you

So right after our amazing HOT WATER WEEKEND (8/1-8/3 VIDEO TO COME IN A FEW DAYS)--The Gap fam jetted four hours up to the mountains! There is nothing like a vacation in a place with no cell phone reception (our cabin has almost zero!) that helps you relax...a little bit at least. You can only do so much relaxing with a toddler, can I get an amen from any parents out there?, We have from 11:30-1:30 every day and then from 6:30pm on to read, nap, watch movies, etc. Otherwise from 7am on we are chasing our little girl around the cabin or hanging at the beach trying to keep her from swimming out into Lake Tahoe. (She is a total water baby. What is it with kids that don't care how cold the water is? I feel like such a wimp! She always wanted to stay longer in the water than I did and I would have to take her out--with tears in her eyes!)



BUT...thanks to grandparents we DID got some solo time outside of the normal nap and bed time schedule. Wendy and I actually got to have some time to be together alone at the beach (and access to wireless internet thanks to Pops' laptop). It was great.

It's been all too short though. A small 5 days, which extended to 6, we were loving it so much. (Although I am looking forward to a 10 day staycation--vacation while staying at home to close out August)!

So, tomorrow morning I will be headed back home to the last Sunday of Mercy Cafe and the last Sunday with our interns. We also will be celebrating baptisms on the lawn at 4:3o pm, too.

This next week is intense as we close out the summer and say goodbye to our summer interns. It also means all the fall planning for our young adults will come out next week, too. Stay tuned for dates of retreats, the deep, and discipleship nights, etc.

I will produce one more VLOG for the end of the summer. PS. No one one the "Starbucks contest." There really is one less Starbucks..and it was the one in Albertson's/Lucky's! 7 left in RWC, now.

More soon...

Please pray for GLORY RUTH

This special little baby girl belongs to God! She is 2 lbs 1oz and was born (around) 3 months (I think) early to a family (fellow pastor Sid & Linda) in our church family. Please pray for her to be healthy, and for God to show is miraculous power--to amaze people and show HIS glory and power!!

God, I believe in your power. I know you can heal. I know you can breath your life into this child. You made this baby you formed all her days. Please in the powerful name of Jesus show your love and show your grace to her parents and siblings!!!!

Raise up your people of prayer God!

Amen