I want to be dangerous

It's almost been three weeks since returning from Sabbatical. I, now, know why it is so easy to have those momentary "spiritual highs," or mountain top experiences, on retreats and such. We go away, have uninterrupted time with out distractions and busyness. We experience God in extraordinary ways, eat good food (usually), laugh like crazy, re-energize, and refocus on what's really important in life.

It's during some of those defining moments, where we truly believe life was meant to be lived in such intimate communion with God. But then those retreats, mission trips, or sabbaticals, in my case, have to end and we have to return home. We have to go "back to the grind," and "back to reality." And then we forget. We find ourselves in the same ordinary routine, rut, or schedule we were before. Others can't relate to our experience, or aren't even interested in hearing about it. We forget the fun, the freedom, and those moments of laughing until milk comes out of our nose. And sometimes, or maybe most of the times, we forget what God said to us, we forget the closeness we experienced, and we forget what happened wasn't just meant to be a week-long/end experience or three month break. What if, what happened in those moments, when God had our full attention and spoke to us in intimate ways, was the life pattern he intended. I believe he means to speak to us ALL THE TIME.
I wonder, though, what would happen if we really believe that?

This past Tuesday, our young adult community kicked-off with the reminder that following the way of the Rabbi, was meant to be NATURALLY SUPERNATURAL. Ordinary, compartmental, average, and nominal are not words in which would ever be described of Jesus and his early followers. In the book of Acts, I was brought to my knees this week. Like I said in my last post, I was reading of the disciples courage to speak up and live such lives that all who saw were either disturbed, filled with awe, or afraid to join them for fear of dying (See Acts chapter 5 and make sure to read verses 12-16 below).
Acts 5:12-16:

The apostles were performing many miraculous signs and wonders among the people. And all the believers were meeting regularly at the Temple in the area known as Solomon’s Colonnade. But no one else dared to join them, even though all the people had high regard for them. Yet more and more people believed and were brought to the Lord—crowds of both men and women.  As a result of the apostles’ work, sick people were brought out into the streets on beds and mats so that Peter’s shadow might fall across some of them as he went by. Crowds came from the villages around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those possessed by evil spirits, and they were all healed.

That's radical and different! That's dangerous! This was the Church that Jesus was starting. A movement, and collection of radical followers willing to give their lives and take beatings for the name of Jesus. (Sound like your Church? Sound like a Church you'd want to be a part of?).  His people were never meant to be limited to one day a week, watching someone else worship, and constantly checking their watch so they don't miss a football game.

When people think of the Church gathering today, most,  (including followers of Jesus), picture something else way different that what we see in the book of Acts. And sure, some people have their excuses, or can intellectualize away why things today will never look they way they did "back then."

I cannot accept that.

I must be a part of this kind of community we see modeled through the scripture. This is the WAY it should be. Yet, if this is going to happen, it will require a radical re-shifting of our time, thinking, and the way do things. (I'm curious if any body would like to contribute boldy to this conversation in the comments. What would this look like? How would things have to change?)

When we believe the love of God is so real and his power is already at work within us, we become changed people and people's lives are changed around us. (This is actually PCC's mission).  In fact, people will either run to join us or freak out and NOT want to join us for fear of losing their lives like in verse 13 (IE because of Ananias and Sapphira read the whole chapter for context).

So, my readers, my friends, family, fellow followers of Christ. We have something to live for. We have a God who is alive and loves us. And this life is too short to forget his goodness, to short to settle for the ordinary and the mundane, and too short to think that it's only possible in short weekend or sabbatical experiences. So we, I, must remind myself of those truths and moments when I experienced God and knew his truth, so that ordinary moments are recaptured back for the holy moments they were created for!

So, as I say goodbye to my summer sabbatical, I choose to remember and reflect. So I never forget. Here's some truths and experiences that shaped my summer and gave me passion for the future.

1-God is here. Now. I don't have to pray he shows up. I have to show up. I have to choose to be present, and help and teach others (discipleship) that this is true, also! He is with me everyday, with all of his followers.  Matthew 28:20.

2-My wife is amazing. She serves our family day in and day out. There's just not enough words, flowers, or diamond rings that could ever fully show appreciation to a woman, a mom, who gives her all. Any mom that is home with three (any number of) kids daily, deserves a life-time supply of massages (and/or mani/pedis (yes, I know what those are), girlfriend time, and just the luxury of sleeping in)! I love her and grew to appreciate her in ways I never have. She deserves so much more than I can give her. I got a true gift in my marriage to her. Proverbs 18:22
.
3. Not wearing a watch is one of the best things ever.. I think of Jesus who just went about his day doing good as it came along. No appointments to rush to, days free of meetings, and open to healing people daily. Acts 10:38.

4--I love being a dad. There's nothing like it to humble someone to how selfish one can be, and nothing like it in the world that helps one understand the love of God. Proverbs 3:12.

5-God is not limited by our limitations. Summers are a bit challenging financially for us as we can make extra income through the year as my wife substitute teaches. This summer, with two big road trips, and two big airplane trips, we had a lot of extra expenses than normal. God provided all of our expenses in completely unique and supernatural ways. People who just gave because God told them, and God opened doors of blessing to make ends meet! He always provides. Philippians 4:19.

6-I grew more love for my family, near and far as we traveled to Illinois, Tahoe, and Socal. We spent a lot of time with family both in Chicago and locally. Family may be the best relational gift of this Earthly life time, as well as the best way to gauge if our love for others is real. There's no one who can see us for who we really are than those that have seen us over a lifetime.

7-I grew to enjoy an"American past-time". I've never really been into the 4th of July. Sorry, fireworks, parades...never been my thing. But, like I said in #2, #4, and #6, because of family, those moments are more than just holidays or traditions. They are opportunities to create cherished family memories. One of our favorite summer times was in the backyard of my brother's house, on a sweltering hot Chicago night. We sat there drinking iced tea, watching our kids run around with sparklers, and lighting off fireworks. We wanted to freeze that moment in time. It was perfect. Almost. We just thank the Lord nothing was set on fire, and all the neighbors were physically, unharmed. Emotionally scarred, maybe, but absolutely no blood was shed.
 spark!!

8-It's important to laugh at the craziness of life. It's important to expect your one year old to urinate so much in her diaper that in leaks all over your lap, within the first five minutes of a five hour plane flight.

9-This life isn't a game. It's a mission. And Jesus isn't so concerned with us being nice, safe, or comfortable. If we want to really follow Him,  and experience the Holy Spirit, we must expect the unexpected daily! This will either result in awe and wonder, and/or opposition from the Evil One and disgruntled people as we read and experience stories from the Bible (see #11) This is life! Ephesians 6:10-18.

10-Which leads me to my next take-away. Pleasing God is a much more fulfilling life goal than trying to please people. We must get over wanting people to like us and not being authentically who we are in Jesus. We have to be willing to led God really live through us, and make us dangerous. Take some risks. Pray for strangers, initiate spiritual conversations, prayer walk, stand up for truth, initiate change, call out apathy, and be willing to obey what the Spirit is leading. It might not make you popular, (even within the church), but you'll experience God! Galatians 1:10.

11-Although the Bible is a book, with  intellectual and literary value, it's much more. It's a collection of life-changing truth and stories meant for us to know God resulting in a heart experience with who he really is, not just words to enhance our heads and knowledge. If we miss this, we miss God, and we miss LIFE!. John 5:31-36.


I could go on an on. But, let me just stop here, get off this computer, and get on with being dangerous.
(BTW, that'd be a great name for a church).

 

Being human can be hard, being fish is harder

It's been twelve days since I returned from my sabbatical. Twelve days of transitioning back to a routine, wearing a watch, and wearing more than just a swimsuit 24/7.  I wish I could say it's been easy.

As I shared in my last post, I experienced a lot of humbling moments this past summer. Particularly in June. My three month sabbatical started in the first month of summer. For the past fourteen summers, those three months have the most amazing and busiest times of my life. The reason? Because the church that I get to serve with has a life changing internship for young adults, lots of great programs, and a pool. Which means lots of great activity with lots more great people around. So, to have some rest from all that, for the first time in fourteen years, is truly a gift. But the first few weeks of my "rest," were not restful at all. It was the opposite. I was restless. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was totally removed from my weekly regimen, cut myself off from email and facebook, and was on a week-long road trip with three kids five and under. MERCY! I felt like a fish out of water, a bit like I had to find who I was again. How do I be me without doing all the things I love to do, in which I also make my living?

 I had many obvious moments in June were God fathered me. He spoke to me to let go of my expectations. These three months, each and every day of summer, belonged to Him. He had plans for me that I couldn't even fathom. I kept getting the image of opening my hands as I prayed and processed my feelings. God wanted me to let go of my expectations. Unbeknownst to me, I had brewed a list of (selfish) expectations of what I thought my sabbatical should entail. He spoke very clearly to me about this one night through my wife. She just repeated back to me things I had said to a few people, when I was asked  how things were going on sabbatical so far. (Keep in mind this was two weeks in to June). When I heard her words, I was so convicted. That person sounded so entitled, so unhappy. That's not who I am, or who I wanted to be. I knew I  needed to change ASAP. I needed to renew my mind. Everywhere I read in the Bible during that time, God affirmed my identity as his Son, his loved one. That's where the devotional, "Jesus Calling", was so amazing. I read it daily and found myself so quickly! (This will always be the case when we live God's word). The beautiful thing about this devotional book is that it uses God's word to create a first person type reading (from Jesus). Through it, I remembered instantly who I was. I am God's, his son, and I can trust him to lead and provide everything I need (beyond my expectations). He showed me my sabbatical, was not just for me, but for my whole family. So I am so happy to look back in awe (especially of July and August), when our family really hit a great stride, I was relaxed, and at a beach or pool daily. We had so many amazing trips and times together, with no agenda other than to be together. It was unforgettable on so many levels.

So, now I'm I have no issues and every thing is perfect. Not quite. The crazy thing is, it almost feels like September may be another, "finding myself again," month. I came back so excited, refreshed, energized, and defined in my passions. And guess what came along for the ride? Expectations. How did that happen? I thought I was done with humility? Gone are the days of open schedules and long walks on the beach. And I guess I had plans for what I thought September would look like, and God simply says, "Keep your hands open." Once again, I'm a fish. Not so much out of water, but in new water, different water. Or maybe it's the same water, but the fish is different? I'm not trying to be all poetic here, but I do know that transition is upon me, again. And so I get to re-learn, or remember what I learned just a few months back. What a great adventure. As followers of Christ, we share his identity and to truly live into that, we must keep our mind in God's truth. Tonight, I had one of those "collapse in the arms of Jesus" moments. It was beautiful. I was reading the Bible with my kids in their bed, and then we prayed together. God used their words like a healing salve to my soul. I realized that I allowed restlessness to creep back into my heart. Silly things like worry, I easily allow access into my life. Why? How quickly I forget the truth. God always provides financially for us, he brings peace to crazy schedules, and will let nothing prevent his will from being done. God loves his children to have faith. And God satisfies us. Jesus said, He gives peace like no one and nothing else (John 14:27).  Through the words of children, my children, I was brought back to the simple pleasure of being God's child, with nothing to worry about, safe in his care. I was holding back the tears as I laid with my kids in their bed. After all was said and done I tip-toed out of their room to leave them to fall asleep, and just fell to my knees in gratefulness and adoration. God is so good, so true, and everything we need. Regardless of what kind of fish I am, or what kind of water I swim in, I rest in the truth that I am created by God, and for God, and that's enough.

Next time, I'll blog about other learning moments from the summer, share some video highlights. and more on transitions.

As Jack Nicholson would say...

For some reason I can't say the words, "I'm back," without picturing the movie, The Shining. Creepy, right? So although I don't want to produce nightmares for anyone, I do want to jump back into life (and the virtual life of social media) with a bang, (sorta)!

Speaking of social media, probably one of the weirdest things about my sabbatical was #1-the weird reality of being disconnected from knowing what's up through status updates and pictures (I have no idea who's dating, engaged, or pregnant right now) and #2-the realization that checking status updates and pictures actually results in disconnection from reality. Probably not the most profound ah-ha moment but something I'm hoping will look different in my "post-sabbatical" life. With time on Facebook I had time to do many other creative things (which I will share in the coming weeks as I blog).  It's September first and I haven't logged into Facebook, yet. I'm still going to give it a few days. I'm considering some margin around how I utilize Facebook in the future, but still haven't come to any conclusions yet. However, I've jumped back into Twitter, it's much more low maintenance, as I expected, and I like that!

That leads me to my next realization from my summer off. Sabbatical was NOT what I expected. I thought I had no expectations, or tried not to have any, but I guess subconsciously I had a huge list and it quickly became evident that God was leading me in a different summer than the one I had in mind.  I learned an incredible amount about myself and life as a husband and father. I had an amazing time with my family, and had major moments of experiencing God on the way. I especially experienced a lot of humbling and conviction. look forward to sharing those lessons learned through out September as I wade back into life in Redwood City and with our PCC family.

So, unlike Jack in the Shining, I'm not going to be yelling and screaming my way back into community, but I'm taking my time to find my place again. It feels like the first day of school. I have an excited "butterflies in my stomach feeling," craving to hear how every one's summer went, and wishing I had a new backpack. So if you see me around let's swap summer vacation stories and get stoked for what's upcoming on the our fall syllabuses, or syllabi, whatever you prefer.

Sabbatical

I waited tables for about a decade of my life and I loved it. Not just because I got free food and loved getting tips, but when I left the restaurant, I was done and work was over. There were clear boundaries. I didn't worry about sending emails to customers about soda refills, or have answer  calls on my cell about menu complaints, or have to text my wife that I'd be late because a customer stopped me on the way out to talk about the soup recipe. When the apron was off, my time was mine. I have found that one of my biggest challenges as a pastor is to figure out my time, and how to draw good boundaries outside of "work." (And really what is "work" and what is not. Not an easy answer for me). It's been a life long issue. It's a hard one because even though all followers of Jesus are called to do what pastors do (pray, serve, give, counsel, help the poor, share Jesus), I'm privileged to serve through the local church and have my family supported by ministry. So because of this, I often find myself in challenging situations where I don't make much time to rest. This is particularly just a weakness of mine because I love what I do. I love ministry, being creative, and packing my days with the nonstop action  and messiness of meeting with people. I love getting coffee, praying, and engaging in crazy discussions about life, like the Big Bang, sex, the Bible, marriage, and if aliens exist (not all in the same order).

Some days this ends up backfiring because "one hour" meetings never just go "one hour." When I'm backed up, then I'm running late to the next meeting which I usually always schedule just minutes after my previous appointment. Another thing I need to learn is giving myself space, room to breathe, and even saying no to good things. I'm prone to do, do, do, and go, go, go. It energizes me to take on multiple projects at a time, but is it the right thing for me to do? I really love meeting with people even when if it seems they just want to complain (not my favorite thing, but it's a part of the job and it can lead to great prayer and conversation). I enjoy solving problems, fixing things, and seeing people change, and seeing miracles happen. But this can be a dangerous passion.

There are times when I don't give myself enough space to relax. Sometimes I feel like a slave to my  text messages and voice-mails. It's like a sick competition with myself to see an empty inbox, and this can be draining. I feel accomplished and burdened at the same time trying to cross off what seems like a never ending scroll of a to-do list.

When I'm home I'd really like to kick my feet up and just chill, be with my wife, and engage with my family. And there are times when it is hard to be present in those moments knowing that  emails and Facebook messages are piled up. It can easily justify jumping on the computer because it's getting ahead on the next day's work. So I'll cheat myself from resting. And I'll cheat my family. Not good. Don't get me wrong I'm not some psycho blue tooth wearing vigilante who is considering a chain for my laptop to attach to my belt, but I DO need to tackle these issues WWE style. When I take my kids out, I deliberately leave my phone at home so I'm not distracted or tempted to answer a text. When I come home from work, I'll sometimes leave my tech stuff in my car so I won't be distracted. And I LOVE not even looking at my email when I have "days off." The more I do it, the more it becomes habit. Although, it still seems that when my email goes untouched for days, eventually I lose a few (or twenty) of those emails because I rarely seem able to answer them all.

They just end up getting lost in cyberspace. Which can damage communication and work flow, but it just might be the necessary collateral damage for being a healthy person. 

So with all this said, I am immensely thankful that PCC has seen fit to give me a three month sabbatical. About eight months ago I started the process, applied and was granted three months of sabbath! That word simply means REST! I've been with Peninsula Covenant Church since I graduated college fourteen years ago. And I am so blessed to call this my home church family. The important part is that I've been telling myself that I have to sabbath NOW! I can't just go, go, go until June 1st and then all of a sudden expect to start resting and have it feel normal. So, I"m starting to scale back because come June 1st, I won't be at any of my meetings, normal ministry activities, or on email or Facebook. It's going to be a very different summer for me. Abstaining from social media is going to free me up, mucho! My goal for the summer is to take time to be a husband and father, to listen, pray, read, and create. I have some writing projects I'm excited to work on. Our family of five will be taking multiple vacations to get away, play, and be with extended family. When we are in town we'll be joining other local churches for worship gatherings. I'd love any suggestions for good books to read and podcasts to listen to. And, I'd appreciate prayer as God speaks to me. I expect, because he's already started, that I'm going to learn a lot through conviction and encouragement in his Word and by his Spirit, and realize the good changes he wants to make in me. June 1-September 1 is going to be a great time!

Ahh...rest. Hebrews 4.

He asked for prayer to "get laid."

A story from prayer walking in Redwood City.

Dog eats sandwich = a choice to be made

On Sunday night, I was eye to eye with a "brother" of mine, pleading with him to let go of all his hurts, grudges, and anger toward people in his past, the "system," and basically the world. I stood there feeling quite helpless.  He knows all the right answers and basically understands that he needs to change the way he thinks to align up with God's love and truth, (and to first receive and believe it is for himself), but he felt it was too hard and overwhelming. After thirty minutes of using all my pastoral strength, seminary taught listening skills, and scripture quotes, I told him I didn't know what else to say. We just needed to pray. A few others and I prayed for him declaring that God's love and power was enough. I wish I could report there was some miraculous change in him, but as we prayed I felt a block.  It was as if he wouldn't budge. He'd rather choose to be angry and hardhearted. He was actually making the choice to see his life as a sh*%-hole (his words). It was almost as if we were praying for a statue. I'm glad God is bigger than what I can see. I keep praying, and believing that God will chip away at his heart and he will respond so that he can see how God sees him and his life. But honestly, I felt mad, not at him, but mad at sin, mad at Satan.

Then today, while playing with my kids at a park the story continued. My oldest daughter was sitting on a picnic blanket eating her sandwich while I spoon fed our nine month old, and my three year old was on a swing. In an instant, an unleashed dog ran up and snatched my daughter's juicy tuna sandwich. I turned my head to see it snarfing it down while my daughter was looking on in horror and shock. All I could say was, "It's eating your sandwich!" The owner then grabbed her dog and said, "Yep," while she dragged her pooch away. She didn't apologize, discipline her picnic intruder, or acknowledge that only crumbs were left from our once existing tuna sandwich with the edges cut off. It was so weird. So there I was left trying to console my daughter, who already had dog fears since she was little, while assuring her she could just eat her sister's sandwich. (Thankfully our three year old doesn't like tuna that much). Other protective park moms were jumping to rally and console us. "How could she not say anything? How rude! Report her! Are you OK? (etc)."  In reflecting back, I wasn't scared that the dog was going to hurt my daughter, or mad at the dog, (who could blame him for helping himself the great taste of tuna), but I was just put off! This interrupted and inconvenienced my life! We were now down one sandwich, and the owner had, in all definitions of the term, trespassed (literally), upon me and my family.

See- there is a sign at the entrance of the park that clearly states why this shouldn't have happened. Now, to all you dog owners, please know, I LOVE dogs. I'm counting the days until we can have a little, fuzzy, flea motel in our house! And I'm not against taking your dog of leash (even in areas where you're not supposed to), but geez...take responsibility! So in the matter of minutes I found myself trying to interact with the protesting mob of moms telling me to report the owner, and caring for my kids' questions. "Why did that dog do that? Why didn't the owner apologize? What if it bit us?"(Among many more curious "what if" questions).

Then it hit me.

I had a choice, right in that moment. I know this may seem small, but it was a reality of a bigger issue in my heart. I could continue to build the list in my head against this person and store up a bunch of anger toward this nameless person who now was "in debt" to me, or I could take her off the hook. I could forgive. There I was, in the same position as my friend from the other night. I could enslave my heart as victim of trespass, or could choose to use my "the mind of Jesus." I had to give this person grace, and at least- the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that dog owner didn't see what happened. Maybe she was going through her own personal issues and this trespass was not about me at all. Maybe she felt so much shame she couldn't even open her mouth to apologize. Whatever the reason, (and even if she meant to trespass and didn't care), it was worth it for me to forgive and let it go. For me and my kids. But let me say I had to tell myself that this was the better choice (with thanks and help from the Holy Spirit). So as we drove home from the park, the kids and I talked about how Jesus teaches us to forgive and not focus on how we feel so upset (or what could have happened), as if we need to demand retaliation. What good would that do, anyway? Because we follow a savior, a rabbi, a God who was led like a lamb to the slaughter. He showed us the way to love, the way to let go. It's the way to be free. It's not the easy way, but I know it is THE good way, the right way. And when I get past all the excuses of how "hard it is," it really feels good, too, to forgive. I know this was just a "tuna sandwich," and compared to all the other trespasses/hurts in the world it might not measure up, but it was real for me.  This was a timely circumstance for me this week. And I hope this becomes THE way of our kids, also! I hope it becomes THE way for you, too. However you have been trespassed upon, I know it isn't easy to forgive the number of heinous, sinful atrocities committed against people, but it is for our good (and God's kingdom), that we learn to forgive.

When I was talking with my friend the other night I shared this with him, and God reminded me of it today.

I know God will never have to apologize to us, because he never sins or intends sin upon us. But I do think when face to face with us and all our hurts/wounds/and anger he would say, "I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry you were treated that way. I'm sorry the people I created sinned against you. I'm sorry you were __________, that was never my intention."

Happy Easter
Jesus gave his life to love and forgive you, so you could forgive others.

Filmaking underway

Today was a preproduction day of scouting locations, meeting with hair and make-up people, discussing costumes, and rehearsing (in my living room). Our team was all over the city getting things ready for our shoot that starts Thursday!

I'm most impressed with people passionate about art that they would be willing to give their time for free to not only make a good story, but simply to work together-knowing that something supernatural happens in the community of filmmaking!

Here's some lighting testing going on in the FOX theatre in which we get to shoot! We are so excited!

One of our special crew members is a long time Bay Area, filmmaking native: Ned Kopp (below). He's been working in films since the 1970's. He's worked with Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas,  Bill Cosby, Robin Williams, and now us. He's giving his time totally free because he loves filmmaking! He knows what he's doing and it's great to listen to all his stories. What a humble guy! And below is Tammy Calderon. This will be her second film she's worked hair and make-up. It's awesome to watch her light up and give her input. She'll also be bringing some of her students from her cosmetology program to help! Thanks everyone!

Here is our director below, Kerwin Kuniyoshi, sharing his vision for the film! Within two writes of the script he nailed what he was looking for, and is taking a risk, but one that is very creative and worth it!

If you'd like to support the film--please go here: http://www.indiegogo.com/168-Film-Festival-SF-Team-1

If you'd like to donate food for the cast/crew email tonyg@wearepcc.com
WE ARE IN NEED OF:
cases of 24 bottles of water (need about 6 cases)
2-12 packs of assorted soda
2 Large Salads
2 Big Safeway Deli Hero Sandwiches
4 loves of bread ( 2 wheat, 2 white)
2 jars of Jelly
2 jars of peanut butters
3 cases of cup of noodles
2 bags of apples
2 bunches of bananas
2 bags of grapes
2 boxes of SPOONS, Forks, Knives-plasticware
1-package of napkins
1 large bag of trail mix
2 boxes of granola bars
1 bucket of licorice and other assorted candy
1-First aid kit

Soul Food night tonight! w/ PCC young adults

My next SHORT FILM PROJECT.

Every filmmaker needs to gain experience and exposure. Film contests and fests are a great place to start! Consider supporting our endeavor!

Click hear to support http://www.indiegogo.com/168-Film-Festival-SF-Team-1

and watch this video for more info!


Fundraising Video for the 168 Hour Film Festival from Radiologie on Vimeo.

Tenderloin Weekend!

What an awesome time!

A Radical change...

So, every year for almost a DECADE, we've been doing a WINTER RETREAT the first weekend of each year with our PCC young adults. It's always been a great time being together, sitting around by the fire, singing, praying, and of course snowboarding. Watch videos of some of the past years here:

2009: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI6KYFnOTls

2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvkoY6TKpgg

2007: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmH14mrxp1I

2006: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mRa82wuG1Q&feature=related


But after reading RADICAL by David Platt, and really wrestling with what it means to FOLLOW JESUS this season, I sensed God leading our ministry to make a radical decision.  Instead of going to the mountains to shred some snow this season, we'll be walking the streets, praying, showing grace and preparing the way for God's kingdom in one of of the most needy places in our Bay Area: The Tenderloin of SAN FRANCISCO. (It was chapter 3,  5 & 6 of Radical specifically that challenged me).

JANUARY 6-8 2012 come SERVE...come FOLLOW JESUS..and expand God's kingdom by praying, showing grace, and discipling the Tenderloin w/a great ministry called SF City Impact.

I want to be the Church. I want to disciple and multiply community. I want to see God's power. I want to love the poor and sacrifice my time and resources for the glory of God. It was evident that our young adults were also craving this, too! So, I thought this season we could do without a trip focused on us having fun in the comfort of our traditional winter cabins with fireplaces, to join a radical movement, a church seeking to radically love the poor.


THE MOST amazing part is our friend AUTUMN BUZZELL, currently serving in Ghana will be back in California for the same weekend with her mission leaders John and Stacy to join us and spend time sharing stories and preparing us for our MAY 2012 mission to CITY OF REFUGE, serving and loving on African orphans and kids who've been rescued from being trafficked into the fishing industry. How radical is that???  Ghana and the Tenderloin. Sharing stories with people in San Francisco being freed from addiction and violence with what God is doing and how he is rescuing and transforming people across the world in Africa from slavery to freedom.


The schedule will be something like:
Team time, Worship gatherings, sharing stories with fellow SF City Impact friends,
City of Refuge (John, Stacy, Autumn) teach us what God is doing in Ghana, music, etc.
Work in the Rescue Mission, Volunteer Center, Kitchen, Thrift Store or  Construction  and
Street Ministry (prayer walking, door to door showing grace: meeting immediate physical needs, laying hands on people for healing, etc).







MORE INFO on this serving retreat AFTER THE FALL RETREAT (Nov 18-20 at Mt. Hermon).

Renewed

Someone from our church family took a picture of me while I was leading one of our PCC worship gatherings Sunday. It's rare that I'm in a tie but here's some proof. Our 9am gatherings are more traditional and so music and dress a more traditional expression. (I love how my hands in are in the "prayer position," it almost looks staged).

I spoke through Colossians 3 emphasizing verse 23 as part of our summer RENEW focus.
To listen go to http://www.wearepcc.com/#/sundays/messages

Whatever you do, work at it as though you were working for the Lord and not for human masters.

I was renewed in huge ways this summer through the book of Colossians. God has shown me how to renew my mind to who I am and to who he is! We have the fullness of Christ (2:10) and I want to live this every day, worshiping him in everything I do. We don't have to ask God to give us fullness-we have it already by faith-those of us in Christ. Worship isn't just singing, Church isn't just Sundays in a building. Worship is our life, and the Church is God's people on a radical mission to bless and love the world to see God's kingdom expand! (For more on my church thoughts see: 

http://tonys2cents.blogspot.com/2008/09/rant-on-word-church.html 

Don't "go to" Church part 2


my VLOG on the Church

Casting Call

One of my passions is filmmaking. I love being sets creating stories and seeing art come to life. But I also love being on sets because of all the conversations I get to have with people about God! It is quite a mission field for me!

One of my fave shows is having a contest so I entered!!

It's easy to vote, you just login w/ Facebook or Twitter, or your email! And you can vote very day, once daily, until September 9th.
Vote here:

MAD MEN CASTING CALL
 DIRECTIONS
1-Log-in (Top Right of page using FB, your email, twitter)

2-Create profile (takes 1 min! Don't be alarmed if you're confused! You'll figure it out!).

3-Vote-by pressing RED VOTE TAB under my PIC (SEE # of votes CHANGE & it says "Thanks for Voting.")
YOU DON'T HAVE TO "LIKE" the page, Just "liking" the page doesn't count as a vote.

4-Vote every day around the same time. They clock it
every 24 hours thru your computer. CONTEST ENDS 9/9. It's all about the # of votes. Top 10 highest men & top highest women are entered in Semi-finals.

5-You can invite others to join in on the event, too!

Thanks so much for the shameless self-promotion!
9th place for the men votes as of Sunday 8/28

HUGE THANKS to my good friend John Meyer who took the photo for me!

Much Ado about SOMETHING Amazing!

I tried to turn it down a couple times. My life always seems so full as it is. I shuttered at how much work it would involve volunteering with twelve kids attempting to perform Shakespeare (in the original language), especially twelve kids with English as a second language. And as far as I knew none had ever acted in any capacity before. It seemed quite challenging.  But I'm extremely glad God didn't allow me to miss this opportunity. About six weeks ago, because of the encouragement of a passionate parent/neighbor of mine (Emily Devitis),  I sat down with this local committed teacher, Sarah Coyle, who explained her big dream: to give her kids an opportunity to do something they'd never done before (and might not ever get a chance to do). Due to many school district cuts, public schools have no room for extras, let alone the arts. My heart melted and I agreed to direct this group of 4th and 5th grade students in scenes from Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing."

I first only agreed to one hour a week. The realized it needed to be two, then three hours, and on some weeks four hours with the last week being as much time as I could! And with a lot of prayer we pulled off two performances on Friday and I must say, they nailed it! I was so proud of them. (We have one show left next week. WED JUNE 1, 6-6:30PM ROOSEVELT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL). Needless to say I grew in love with them (even when they forget their lines and add lib things about Chuck E.  Cheese and Red Lobster. Yes it happened, and it was one of the funniest moments in the performance).

My mother-in-law painted facial hair for the guys. It added so much and gave them a boost of character.

The backdrop/set was designed and constructed in a great community collaboration (I love this word).
It all started from Emily Devitis (my neighbor) who connected me to the school. Then  she and Jen Alexander (artist extraordinaire) designed/painted the set. It's beautiful.

5th grade Victoria, in blue below, plays Beatrice. She will also get a scholarship to attend Broadway By the Bay's Youth Theatre Conservatory! There was even an article written about her and our production on Patch.com Read it here. http://redwoodcity.patch.com/articles/whiz-kid-performs-shakespearean-comedy.

The kids had never experienced wearing a microphone before. Having amplification added so much to the performance.

 My long time friend, Erica Wyman (actor and director as well, below in the pink), with her Broadway by the Bay connections hooked me with the Boys and Girls' club two years ago. And now she agreed to help partner in this little production. She arranged a great sound system and invited Broadway by The Bay's Development Director Tyler Bennet and Executive Director Jim Gardia, to watch the show. They greeted the kids afterward and just gushed all over them which made the kids feel so amazing! We are so thankful to Broadway by the Bay for covering our costumes, as well! They were a perfect fit for the show!

Afterward I teared up talking w/ the Principal and the BBB staff. God is doing something amazing. I love how he intersects our gifts/passions with the kingdom. This was such a practical way for me to love on our city and bless the schools.

My favorite part was hearing the kids' reactions. They knew they had accomplished something beyond their abilities, they felt good about themselves, experienced teamwork, and they were already dreaming about a "Midsummer Night's Dream for next year"....We'll see about that..

A not-so subtle reminder of Grace

After I returned from lunch I found this note on my car.




"Nest time I we key your car Dummie | your welcome"

Really? I guess Parking one inch ON the line caused some one some grief in their day.

Or who knows maybe I  cut this person off or took the spot they wanted. I have no idea. But getting this note elicited emotions in me. (Enough to blog about it, obviously). Part of me laughed at some of the spelling mistakes and made some assumptions about the person that actually took the time to write the note (For which I'm sorry that my thoughts quickly ran to judgment). Then I was sad to think what it would take to cause a person to choose to use their energy in such a negative way. Then I was humbled. I had to stop thinking about myself as a victim and  think about the person on the other end of the situation. And so I prayed for hope in this person's day. I know my parking job was not responsible for "making" this person angry..perhaps they are feeling low because they are unemployed, going through a hard relationship. lonely, or maybe they have even hurt because other people have called them names. Or what if, this is  extreme, but he/she may be living  under emotional and/or physical abuse from others. Or it could be none of those things.

It could be as simple as this person just made a one time bad choice in the course of his/her day that hurt another person (me),  like I do a lot to other people. And this person needs grace..just like I do for the way I act..and the way I park. God..thank you for reminders like this. Either way, today I pray that this person, that myself, and that every reader of this story knows that we have a creator who loves us and who always gives us second chances when we cross the line--in any and every way. This creator, this savior, this God who loves us will never demean us, and never call us "dummie."

Come see my film. Support the Arts. Support the Poor.

Time...Time to slow down.

I've not made much time to blog lately. Notice the difference: I said I didn't "make" time, not I haven't "had" time. I've had lots of time, but I've had to make the choice to use my time in different ways on many, many other things lately. I'd like to be blogging more, honestly, but I have to sacrifice the long postings for more short updates--as in 140 characters on Twitter or Facebook. It's a humbling realization but I should not be doing as much as I'd like to be doing (or think I'm capable of doing). I have a huge to-do list. And I don't say that for pity, I actually enjoy accomplishing a lot of things and usually take on more things **outside of my job description** because I want to and it feels great, I like to help others, and I feel satisfied in my accomplishments, etc...but I'm seeing that God is teaching me to be careful in all the freedom he's given me. Sometimes he lets us choose all the things we want to do and other times he's clear what he wants us to do and what he doesn't want us to do. Right now, I'm in a season where God is telling me to wait, put things off, let go, and that I have to say NO more often, schedule less, and not be a slave to technology. With that comes accomplishing less and the challenge to keep my worth and identity rooted in Jesus. My worth doesn't come from what I do, but from who God says I am. Ephesians chapters 1-3 declare this loud and clear.

It reminds me of this picture my mom sent me. Check out this car wreck.

The passenger and driver were OK, thankfully. Sometimes I think about my life and how fast I am prone to go...and I'm grateful for the ways God allows me to see the need to stop and just be. Sometimes this comes from times of pain that I have no control over, sometimes it's because I got exhausted taking on too many things, and other times it comes because my kids need me to be dad and run around the house with them.

I don't want to pass these moments by and not learn anything, As if to say, "Whew, that was a close call." Because sometimes it's a lot closer than we think and consequences to disobedience or wrong alignment of priorities way deeper and dangerous to our life that we know.  And we don't even realize what God is doing, saving us from, or how he is protecting us in the heavenly realms. Just how this driver and passenger from the the car wreck above must have felt when they took in what almost happened to them---take a look at the rest of the picture. This is crazy. This is real.

I realized God may be giving me a new word for the season. SLOW.
(but I also am connected to the word REMAIN).
John 15: 1-5
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

The Next Gap Kid gender is...

My 1 year old's L's

Cutest thing. My daughters L's are are said like Y's.  Every time she talks in her little voice I wanna just stop time.

Here's a few of my favorites:


Yook at me.  (Look at me)

I yike it. (I like it)

Heyyo? (Hello?)

I yove you. (I love you).

Where's my yammy? (Lamby)

Rant: Santa Stance 2.0

I was in Starbucks with my kids the other day. A woman leaned over to our table and made eye contact w/ my 3 year old.

"Is Santa coming to your house to give you gifts this Christmas?"

My three year old was bewildered and averted eye contact to me as if to say, "Help!"

I laughed and told the lady, "Mom and dad give the gifts at our house."

Then she said, "Well.. HE's coming to MY house to drop off gifts."

AWKward. 

Can't you see how this adult perpetuated saga makes for craziness at Christmas. (Why is Santa going to give her gifts and not us? Well, kids...) Thankfully we've had the talk w/ our kids. It's a story, pretend like the princesses of Disney.

I wrote THIS POST on Santa 2 years ago and I still stick with it adding a minor modification. Saint Nick was a real person in history and we should (read in the article below), appropriately reference him. But I don't think it's appropriate to go to all ends to build a child's belief in Santa as necessary part of Christmas because it comes with ramifications. I've heard two stories in the past weeks where preschool parents have had to deal with kids being told (pushed perhaps) at school to believe the story of Santa to the point where it confuses or scares them. (Someone is coming down our chimney? Why does my neighbor get more & better toys from Santa than me?) This brings up the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Leprechaun issue...my kids have enough lies & fears to battle every day I don't need to add to their  thinking that little pixies are flying around their room. (This reminds me a friend made up a story for his toddler to get her off pacifiers. He said a fairy came and took them for other kids to use. Some time later the kid was hoarding her blanket and toys in fear and asked her dad when the fairies were coming to take them to other kids).

This is a must read article. I don't always agree with Pastor Mark Driscoll, but I think he is right on with his (click here) Santa Stance.