God is always here

I woke up one morning last week to my car wrapped in toilet paper and with shaving cream all over it. The "nice" thing was that the shaving cream spelled out encouraging things like "Man of God, God loves you," and "Man among wolves." So I had to make a visit to the car wash thanks to the midnight visit from some of the men (wolves-not that I'm naming names ROCKY & PORTILLO) in our young adult community.

The cool thing is God gave me a cool experience at the car wash. I took my daughter with me and it was a little scary for her. Those gas station car washes have those machines that you drive into and it goes back and forth washing, rinsing, and drying, etc. They can be loud and for a little almost two-year old, they can be scary. She was in the back seat saying, "Hold you, Papa." (Her words for: Hold me!). Since I couldn't get out of the car and go back there I just reached my hand back, cupped her cheek, and said, "Papa's here, I'll protect you." And for the whole five minutes she rested her head in my hand. It was so perfectly sweet. Her eyes darted back and forth watching the water pound the windows while I reminded her of my love and presence and in that moment God reminded me that's exactly what he does with me, even when I don't see him. He's always here.

Dance Party

Chalk this up to another reason I love my daughter and being her father.


I hope she grows a heart to worship God like David did, with dancing and all her might. May this be true of every one of God's worshippers. May we all have a heart to worship like we do the things we love, for it is in living passionately like this that we bring God worship, too.

Thankful, thankful...(video and poem)

Bloggers around the country are all posting today so here's my 2 cents on my Thanksgiving! I have so many things. So I'll post this video of my little scooter girl and share a poem. I'm thankful.



Here's the START of my list, it's just the tip
hopefully not just service of the lip,
but I'm thankful. I'm thankful for God's crazy love,
my wife,
my daughter..
pretty much our whole, crazy life,
our baby due February,
my family, the coffee in my mug, the food on my plate,
the long, long, long.......... wait
For God to move, and heal, and do his will,
cause it's not just an easy swallow
of a pill...
it's waiting, wondering, and realizing..he's a provider
a giver of love, simplicity, and truth..
he's a provider of the clothes in my closet,
friends who pray, friends who call,
friends who help me see the writing on the wall.
Enough money to deposit,
in the bank, or in my pocket,
enough electricity to come out of our sockets,
in-laws who babysit, young adults who don't quit,
California living, Italy visiting,
my dental nightmares,
that reveal my anxious cares
that keep me seeking the Lord
to confess, and to cling
to Him and his love,
which is better than anything....every thing!
I'm so glad he's MY KING...
Thanks God that there's always more
for my heart to out-pour,
so I will settle in, within, not just next of kin,
but son, child, beloved, object of your affection,
the middle of your heart!
So thanks for calling my name,
may I do my part
for your kingdom to come
your will be done
on earth as it is heaven.
To you be the Glory forever, and ever...Amen.
and Thanks again!

I don't babysit ...my daughter.

Another confirmation that the roles of men are slightly twisted in society.

I was pushing Isella in the cart up to the man checking out groceries (and no we don't use the super duper cart covers)

and had the following interaction:
Man at checkout: Hi who's this?
Me: This is my daughter, Isella.
Man at checkout: Oh, is daddy babysitting today?
Me: No, I'm just spending time with her as my wife's away right now.

I guess I felt a little off put. I don't babysit my daughter, ever. When it's just me and her, I'm spending time with her one on one, not babysitting. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be defensive and I'm sure this guy wasn't trying to be insulting whatsoever but it made me wonder about his perspective. Here's where I psychoanalyze.

I don't like the assumption that if mom's not around that dad "just babysits" Nothing against babysitting, but a father needs to be much more than just a short term, temporary caretaker.

There are assumptions of fatherhood. Wrong perceptions of a dad's responsibility. That's why this post is so important. Is this just because many dads aren't seen with their kids or it's assumed that dads don't spend time with their kids ? Or is it just more common that moms/women and kids are the ones shopping? Either way, it just struck me strange, and I felt a little sad because of it.

What I would have rather heard: "Oh is today a a daddy daughter day?, or "Great, some special one on one time with daddy and his daughter. That's great to see."

Bottom line for me and my children, I want to be a very loving and present father who is engaged in their life.

Am I too sensitive or analytical?
Is this a true perspective as seen in our society, (why/how)?
Should we use the cart covers while grocery shopping?

"Doing" weddings

I got to do three wedding ceremonies this summer. Two for great friends in our community and just last week, for my own brother. I really like "doing" weddings. Partly because it's exciting to stand before two people making such a huge commitment as the one representing God in sealing the promise. Another reason is I like to have fun (and make weddings fun-Have you ever been to a boring wedding? Ug! Comment now!) and remind people of God's design and how amazing marriage can be--especially for the guests. I think some of the brides and the grooms are so busy, excited, stressed, nervous, scattered, distracted, and hungry that they barely remember what the officiant says until they watch the video after the honeymoon. That's just how it goes sometimes for some. But the guests who come, although maybe hungry, aren't so distracted and a little more open to "heart." I always assume the following in regards to the guests: 1-Some are married and enjoying it, working hard and making it work. 2-Some are married and hating it, it's too much work, or they don't put enough work into it to make it enjoyable-therefore they come skeptical and bitter about marriage (some actually betting how long this newlywed couple will last and some even on the verge of divorce). 3-Others are single because they haven't been married yet, divorced, or death, and of those some really want to be married badly and others never again-for many reasons. And finally there are some who will never married as they are gifted by God to do so. So.. Whew, that's a huge cross section of people in which to address a message on God's design--within ten minutes, but I always try. This past week was especially challenging as I stood before my whole family and my one and only (blood) brother, Chris.

My Daughter, Isella, was one of three little flower girls (my cousin's daughters). Here they are as they wait for their big moment.

Here she is checking Papa's pockets for lint, snacks,...money..(BTW--my flower eventually got fixed).

We have a very large family (part due to being Italian, the other due to divorces, remarriages, and adoptions). Here are some family shots.

Above -my Mom with all my other brothers and sisters. (A combination of step-siblings, 3 adopted siblings, and three others who are foster brothers. Brady Bunch: eat your heart out!) This is my cousin's son, Caden, below. That night my cousin and I were talking about parenting and leading our children (that are on "loan" from God). I got to pray over him that night, and we had an impromptu dedication. It was a cool privilege.

Here is my Aunt and Uncle: Jerri and Daryl, with my two cousins: Gavin (5) and Cooper (1.5).
I have spoken about them a lot. Although I call them "Aunt and Uncle," they are more like good friends. Daryl is actually like a brother, both to me and Chris. Many of my friends have been praying for Daryl and his fight against cancer. He continues to amaze me with his great attitude. He has survived cancer over eight years. He is now in a new round (somewhat experimental and new) of radiation. Please continue to pray for him. What I loved about this wedding is that my brother and sister-in-law decided to make a donation to LiveStrong and gave everyone yellow bracelets, in which I am now wearing as a great reminder to pray for Daryl and all those (8 Million) fighting Cancer.


My dad giving his best man speech. He said it would be "short" and rolled out a scroll. He's to the right of the layered cake in the middle.

I choked up twice. Once during the ceremony talking about the importance modeling the love of God in our marriages according to Ephesians 5:22ff and showing love to your spouse by encouraging them with words (thinking of my own wife and how much I love her for being a great mom). The second was during my reception speech when I was encouraging my Chris, my brother. All his friends know him by the nickname, "Gap." What people don't know is that he shares the "Gap" nickname (and wears it well) with my Grandfather, who I was named after: Anthony James (Gap) Gapastione. Grandpa Gap was one of the most influential men in my life and I only had ten years with him. He died over twenty years ago, But it goes to show the power of someone who loves much. He went out of his way to spend time with me, made me feel special (nicknamed me A.J.), and was a generous and loving person. I still have fond memories of him and become emotional when I talk about his influence on my life-over twenty years ago his legacy still lives on. What great footsteps to follow for my brother and me.


Poppie and Grandma (Isella's names for my Dad and StepMom). Doesn't my Dad look like James Gandolfini(The guy who played Tony Soprano)?





You know I'm gonna get down when my brother comes up to me and says, "Let's have a dance off!" What is this? Grease? High School Musical? Either way, I'm poppin' moves that would make John Travolta and Justin Timberlake cringe. But hey, I had fun. (no wonder people like to crash weddings).



Yes ladies and gentleman, all this with not a sip of alcohol. This is no joke. Somewhere in a dance hall in Illinois late last Saturday night: yes, I did think I could dance!

A favorite part of life. My daughter in my lap.


Congrats Mr. & Mrs. (Chicago) Gapastione. Although, they are not the only Chicago Gapastiones, they now must be distinguished from Wendy and me as the Cali-Gaps.

By the way, I received so many text messages and facebook comments about how people were praying for me and my family during the weekend. Thank you! I love being a part of the church! A huge shout out to the Newlywed Koldings who sensed God was going to do something completely awe-inspiring. And so I waited and waited and one of the coolest moments was at 11:55pm, 5 minutes before the dance-a-thon (reception) shut down. A guy (friend of my brother) came up to me and asked a question. It started like this:

Guy: So what kind of church are you a part of
Me: One of those weird, judgmental cult ones, why? (No Just kidding)
Me: A Christian one.
Guy: What kind of Christian one?....

Then we started talking about God, the Church, grace, bad experiences with boring, irrelevant churches etc...And I tried not to rant or get on a soapbox too much but I was really excited someone was really interested seeking God. It seemed like he was hungry for the real God who he hadn't quite seen presented in a way that was loving or likable. So I did my best to affirm him about God's goodness and plan. I talked about our church family and how I had experienced God through community.

Guy: Well, if I could find a church like the one you are talking about I would love to be a part of that!

It was so awesome.

and GOD-RONICALLY, he and his family live in a town that has a great church that meets and serves there. We've talked by phone and he's now considering looking into this church --which happens to be the same one in which Aunt and Uncle are a part of in Illinois.

I am "awe-inspired!"

Jesus is Risen! HE IS RISEN INDEED!

The words from the book of John about Easter in Chapter 20

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put him!" So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. Then Simon Peter, who was behind him, arrived and went into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the burial cloth that had been around Jesus' head. The cloth was folded up by itself, separate from the linen. Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) Then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.




They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?"



"They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't know where they have put him." At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus."Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' "Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!"



And she told them that he had said these things to her.On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 20After he said this, he showed them his hands and side.




The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit.

Living the transformed life: Green book reflection

When I hear people talk about how fathers should get up at the crack of dawn, before the whole family is awake, to read and pray...I'm tempted to feel guilty. Because I'm not a morning person and never have been. The thought of getting up even one minute before Isella does (usually 6-6:30am) is not very appealing! I never hear people talking about how holy it is to stay up late at night and pray-only that getting up early is what really spiritual people do. (I think I'm going to have to change that paradigm). With that said, when I do get up on the early shift (which believe me seems like never compared to how many times my wife does) of course I am talking with God, reciting scripture over Isella, singing, and trying to bring to find ways to praise God and through the day. Even with out getting up early to study, there are still many ways to pray, be devotional, and align your day with God. It's not always easy to read on the early shift, because Isella happens to really like books---and always want to get her hands, or mouth, on them. She is pulling herself up now which means she's falling backwards a lot, too which means hitting her head or other parts of her body on whatever furniture is behind her. So it's hard to keep your eyes on a book when you fear for your child's life every few minutes. Despite that, I managed to read a few pages from the GREEN BOOK today (with Isella close by continually grabbing for the book. I even read the verses out loud and prayed Philippians 1:9-11 over her. I couldn't resist shooting some pics of her eating the book). I loved this reflection below (in light of my last post from Thursday). If you are following along in the green book we are in the third Sunday of Lent found on page 140.



Probably our journey of forgiveness will be impossible unless we realize we can't do it alone. We are not the source of our healing. Truly the kingdom of God is within us as Jesus told us. But that Kingdom is God's presence, and we need God's help to experience that inner glory. As with any deep healing and release, the empowered mercy of God within and around us is ours to claim. We must face the facts: we are vulnerable (woundable); we have been hurt; we need to name our hurt and our deep needs as clearly and fully as we can. Little can change until we have faced where we actually are.
-From Forgiveness; THE PASSIONATE JOURNEY by Flora Slosson Wuellner



May we name our hurts and needs and experience God's love, mercy, and power (wherever it is in a movie theater or a bathroom)! May we experience God's kingdom. May we be a people who eat God's word and live it out! May we be transformed!

Feeling Love

I am becoming so sappy. Seriously, I have always been in touch with my emotions which hasn't always been perceived as the "macho" thing but, hey, I am proud of it. But I must admit some of this sappiness is getting out of control. Connecting the dots leads me to believe being a husband and father is to blame! What's the evidence? Well, when I am away from my family at work or traveling on a trip I am constantly reminded of them. I hear a song, a sound, see a picture, and/or sometimes a smell triggers me(don't ask). Lately I am finding myself instantly tearing up within seconds. It can happen any where and in the most random places like walking through a mall or in a drive thru--I'm toast! My vision blurs as my eyes well up and I'm warm all over. Just today I caught a glimpse of a commercial with a young family like mine and I felt like I just got hit in the gut out of nowhere. BAM! And to be honest--I love it. I love this sappiness. because I love my family and it makes me grow in love for them more to think about then and actually feel something..and that something feels good!

The real truth is that whether we are husbands, wives, mothers or fathers-it doesn't really matter. It's just being God's creation that does. What I love about God is that he created each one of us to be whole emotionally and to experience the full range of emotions in healthy ways. We "feel" because we "believe." I well up (or cry lets be honest) because I believe my family is a great gift that I enjoy and I believe they love me and make my life better. I feel because of what I believe. And just think how great we "feel" when we truly believe God loves us! Think on that for a while. Read God's word. You and me are created and loved by God. We are in relationship with God. Just being human (created by God) entitles us the opportunity to experience the depth of love and all the gooey craziness that comes when we have feelings as a result. If you are reading this, I hope that you are engaging in the opportunity to feel what God wants you to feel as a result of believing and letting him in to live in you. I hope you, too, are getting all gooey and sappy when you catch a glimpse of a picture or hear a song that reminds you of God and his love for you. Read John 14. (Jesus said those who love him will be loved back by him and his father and that they will LIVE IN US!) He is thinking of you, loving you, and ever present with you all day long wherever you are (Psalm 139).

PS.

My wife made this as a blog post for our family's blog and it was so cute I had to pass it on to our community!

A few of my favorite things by Isella Rose

I love reading a good book...

standing up (ok, with a little help)...

watching the world around me...

having a good laugh...

gnawing on things...

wiggling my legs...

exersaucin' (thanks for the loan, Natalie Stewart!)

....and snuggling with my daddy.

More to come as I grow...