Wednesday, September 24, 2008

death, fear, and reflection

I am utterly amazed at the out pour of prayer and words of support. Thank you to all who emailed, commented, facebooked, text messaged, prayed, and showed love. It still seems very surreal to me. I talked with my Mom today and they are still arranging the memorial to celebrate my step-brother's life. I feel so sad for my family enduring this situation. There are so many people, siblings especially, grieving Kyle's death deeply. I hope to be able to fly out to Texas at some point to be a part of the remembering.

The story can be read here.

Today, every time I was in the car I couldn't help imagining my car hitting a tree, or losing control somehow with a blow out. Just this week the same thing took the life of a 9 year old boy in San Mateo.

I could easily see how this thought could paralyze anyone with fear or paranoia. All I could do is pray to trust God's love and his plan for my life. I trust he knows our days (Psalm 139). I wanted to squeeze and hug my family each time I left them today in case it was my last. I wanted to ensure that I honored God in all that I did and left a legacy that would always point to him. If only I could live each day like that. It seems that death always reminds that life comes to an end, and what we lived for today will live beyond us tomorrow.I want my life to always point to God.

Father God, I ask for your grace on us. We need your love and comfort. We need your power to see life as you designed it and live with eternity in mind. May we be Colossians 3 people.

In the name of our savior Jesus Christ who gives us life now and beyond the grave,
Amen

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