Friday, August 10, 2007
Enjoying my daughter reminds me of God's enjoyment of us
I know every parent has the "love revelation." It just hits you. All of sudden you get a small, but real piece of God's heart. I'll be looking at Isella and totally enjoying her--whether it's during her moments of screeching with joy, holding her toes, waking up in the morning, and even during diaper duty when WHAM the love revelation hits me. I stop, think, and feel...I am absolutely in love with this little person. Not only has she moved into our house with her entourage of gadgets, toys, and accessories, but also she has fully moved into my heart. I sometimes want to hug her so much that I wish I could pull her inside of me. I want to just eat her. (Not in the cannibalistic way..but in the...well, I don't know what kind of way, it's just an expression-I don't like to eat babies. I just love her so much I have no other words. Wendy warns me that this may give her nightmares so I need to cut back on the sound effects when kissing her toes). BUT To think that God's love for me, for all of his creation, expands beyond this little feeling I have boggles my mind. I cannot fully digest this. It's too much, too wonderfully messy. He LOVES US.
I have made it my ambition to pray for Isella and try to speak God's word to her. Often as I am whispering, "God created you, you are fearfully and wonderfully made" or "God has a purpose for your life to prosper you and not to harm you but to give you a hope and a future," I have had to stop myself and receive those words for my own life. I have to remind myself that this incredible love that I have for Isella is the same incredible love that God has for me. Even when I don't feel it, God loves me like this. Ah. Argh. Ug. Sigh…..(Selah)
This is amazing.
AND... another crazy God LOVE REVELATION correlation! I have even felt a twinge of jealousy in my love for my daughter. Now, I don't dare compare this type of love to God, because I am human and my motives are really fleshy..selfish...but the thought works again as an analogy.
I (selfishly) don't want any other person, especially another man, to make her smile more or give her more joy THAN ME. It struck me today, that (again, it's a metaphor) God must feel like this for us. He doesn't want anyone or anything to be the main source of our joy but HIM. It made total sense today as I thought about it. Honestly I have no jealousy toward my wife, thankfully ☺, she’s the best and we have enough challenges as parents than being competiitve in this area, so whew..not an issue.(I’d probably lose anyway cause I don’t have what we call the magic latte!)—but I have honestly felt this toward others. Weird huh? But let me say: Of course I want her grandparents, aunts, uncles, baby-sitters, etc to love on her and gush over her--but I always want to be her Papa who she runs to and keeps number one. I tear up as I type this because I again thank God for his passionate love for me in this same way. He longs for us to run to him and to make him our soul’s satisfaction.
For an encouragement read Zephaniah 3:17
God, thank you for loving me so much that you want to satisfy all my desires with good things. Thank you that you are good and worthy of my attention. I love you for loving me and being an amazing father. May I please be a father like you to my children.
In Jesus’ name forever.