Friday, February 22, 2008

Definitely, Maybe, SCARY



Since being married I've seen more chick flicks than I ever thought I would see. And hey--some of them I am actually liking...27 Dresses-Check, Juno-Check, Enchanted-check.

Last night we went out to see another chick flick and in the downtown RWC CENTURY 20 theater lobby they had this cardboard cut out for pictures. With iphone in hand we got a shot. I fell to my knees laughing so hard it was worth the scary results. It was a great release to what happen minutes before....



In all seriousness-- we had just come out of the show from seeing Definitely Maybe (Ryan Reynolds/Abigail Breslin).



I thought I would love it because of the father daughter thing, which I did. Cute.



Acting was really good and believable. But what really got me was the issue of divorce. Although the movie doesn't delve into the pain all that much. It was a typical, Hollywood glamorization that just barely touched the pain and consequences of divorce But that didn't stop God's Spirit from moving in me. (Can God use a movie that doesn't necessary promote him or his values for family/sex in any way?--Well, God did use it) After the flick I went into the the bathroom and just cried. I just sat on a toilet--looking at the ground to see if there were any other feet hanging out beside me--crumbled up toilet paper and just bawled for a good two minutes. It came out of no where, so it seemed, but God was there with me in that moment. I really needed to do it. It was another part of God removing some of Satan's fiery arrows from me. And honestly I wanted to avoid it and cover up my face--even from Wendy. When I came out Wendy looked at me, wondering what took me so long and said, "Uh, are you OK? Did dinner not agree with you?" And I said, "Well, I'm not OK, and it wasn't about dinner." We talked in the car on the way home and I realized there are many layers to this experience (being a child of divorce) for me, and it's good for me to recognize my on-going process of healing and maturing--(and blogging about them is such a good way for me to process and ask for prayer). The movie showed a little bit of the pain a child goes through when parents divorce and last night I was reminded of that pain, and some of the reality that the pain never fully goes away even through adulthood. Although I was only five when divorce first struck my life, I still feel the effects as a 32 year old adult. I love my parents and give them such grace (and all others in my family who have endured divorces, too) for the past. No family is perfect and we all have our dysfunctions to work through and heal. And as I look forward I pray God continues to remind me of his love for me and his power to redeem the past and make right the future! For his glory in my life and now in my marriage and family. God is good and he redeems. Joel 2:25

IT REMINDS me of this song that God inspired in me about 4 years ago!



Since the very beginning, you had a beautiful plan,
we have a way of forgetting, forever your purpose will stand

even when we had wandered, you led us back to your ways,
you are renewing our spirits, you are redeeming our days

LET IT BE FOR YOUR GLORY, LET IT BE FOR YOUR FAME, LET IT BE FOR YOUR KINGDOM
AND LET IT BE TODAY


you are close to the broken, you rescue those in need
oh Father will you forgive us, we want your Spirit to lead

you revealed yourself, you've shown the way
so now we pray in Jesus' name

LET IT BE FOR YOUR GLORY, LET IT BE FOR YOUR FAME, LET IT BE FOR YOUR KINGDOM
AND LET IT BE TODAY



I pray our community comes full circle in finding true redemption in all our pain.

2 comments:

Amy Balavac said...

thanks for sharing your heart on this issue Tony. Your blog touched me.

Justin Porath said...

Music sometimes makes sense where pain can't. Divorce is messy, one must only wonder what we are doing to make it sos prevalent. Maybe we practice divorce in other ways, even before marriage.