Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Don't listen to the Bachelor

I have no concept of time right now. I joke around and ask Wendy (ala LOST), "When are we?" We are very sleep deprived. In writing this post I'm barely sure what day it is, let alone when I noticed, but it seemed loads of people were updating their facebook status last week in response to the Bachelor. Some were mad, others wrote it off as staged, and still some ranted how ridiculous it was. I was intrigued. What happened? Thanks to YOUTUBE here's what I found!

To be honest, I think these types of relationship reality shows are not only cheesy, but crap. Crap. They don't encourage God's design therefore can add to difficulty people have in making good relationship decisions. Could these shows be like Harlequin romance novels? They perpetuate wrong expectations and encourage Hollywood-type fantasies (some sexual) that are not possible in the "real world." Since these are some of the very lies I BOUGHT into myself back in the day, I am speaking from experience. Here's a quote from the Bachelor after he dumped the 1st woman he was engaged to:

"I can't control my head. I wish I could control what I was feeling. If I could control my heart and my head, in a second I would do that."

Somebody needs to tell the Bachelor: YES YOU CAN! This was one of the truths that set me free. LOVE IS NOT JUST A FEELING (like this definition). Love is a choice to serve, bless, enjoy, cheer on and partner with another person for their betterment- even at the sacrifice of your own "feelings." The writers of Love Dare say we must LEAD OUR HEART and not let our heart lead us since our heart can deceive us. If we just live life to "feel good" we might miss and avoid some great gifts God wants to bless us with in relationships. One of the greatest thoughts I had about a week and a half ago was watching my wife birth our 2nd child. As I watched I "felt" such love, appreciation, and attraction for her. I was so glad I didn't walk away from Wendy back in the day because I didn't "feel" a constant emotional-love- high. I had to learn love takes commitment when I was used to walking out as soon as feelings went away or things got tough. I vowed to love Wendy regardless of how I feel and I'm so thankful she CHOOSES to love me in the same way--cause believe me the way I am (selfish, rude and smelly--see this post for more on that-which are only a few of reasons) can potentially affect Wendy's feelings, but she loves me by choice. (Which also brings feelings of love, too!). That's what wedding day Vows are all about.

Finally, public TV I think is crossing the line with the amount of sexual situations/skin they show--that hot tub scene as shown on this talk show seems totally inappropriate. Watching that stuff makes me stumble and definitely isn't good for me to watch if I want to keep my thoughts pure and honor my marriage.. Hebrews 13:4. I'm bummed thinking about how many tweens, teens, and twenties types watch these shows are left feeling lonely, unloved, and worthless in comparison. God--we need you. Thank you that your design is the best and most satisfying.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Food for thought!

So when you really start to think about what you are actually seeing on the Bachelor and other reality shows as such, and these are the most influential images of relationships being exposed to younger people and couples it is hard to just say it is Crap. Because just saying it is very different from living your day to day dating life in such a reality. This may be just reality television but when you truly stop to think about it most people on the dating scene live their lives this way so reality tv has become very real for most.

So how do you start to draw yourself away from this disallusioned idea that you can't control your emotions and that you can always have what you want when it comes to love because the people you hurt will always rebound and be okay? I am starting to wonder how much "thick skin" the younger generation has built up to the idea of dating and what it means to date around and that one day love will fall into our laps.

I think everyone really needs to take a long hard look at their role in the dating world and how you have been a part of reality television dating, and if you want to get out of the game what are you going to start to do differently to make sure you are participating in healthy relationships?

-I would suggest doing first: turn of the Crap on your TV like the Bachelor!